Things You Learn When You Become a Mom

-"Dry Clean Only"? More like "Will Never Be Able to Wear Again." Sequester said clothes in inaccessible portion of closet.

-An interesting phenomenon can occur when one is deprived of sleep for more than a few days (and by deprived, I'm talking 2-3 hours of sleep a night): a "waking dream." This largely consists of sitting straight up in bed, looking at your husband and clearly saying something urgent and important while searching the bed. Except maybe to said husband, the something urgent and important comes out as a series of frustrated mumbles, and he asks you to repeat two or three times. And then finally you realize you're not dreaming, and you frantically ask "where's the baby?!" while clutching your chest, only to find when you look down that the baby isn't there, and hubby says baby is sleeping in his room next door. Then hubby sees that you're all sweaty and gets you a glass of water while you sort yourself out. Um, but I'm not speaking from experience or anything.

-In the middle of the night, when you have to get up to feed a newborn, it's possible to grab random things from the refrigerator and try to jam them into the bottle warmer. Hilarity ensues.

-Newborn poop looks exactly like French's mustard. Grey Poupon? More like Yellow Poop On... fill-in-the-blank.

-When you sing your baby songs and they have really touching lyrics, you will cry. Baby will look at you in puzzlement while all you can offer as an explanation is "I love you." :) (No, I did not tear up just writing that. I swear...)

-Mommy can feed, rock, cuddle and kiss Baby until the cows come home, but all it takes is one "hi" and smile from Dad to win him over.

-You can end up with the same picture of the same cute expression day after day, because every day it's still cute!

-When babies start smiling in response to things, it's the best thing ever.

-Why, when babies are tired, don't they just go to sleep? Instead they keep themselves awake and then cry when they're overtired. WTH! Simple solution: When tired, study back of eyelids. ;)

More to come...

A Christmas Miracle! and other stuff

No, the miracle is not that I'm blogging. Although I admit, it's almost a supernatural phenomenon now. But what can I say...I'm now doing the jobs of four people, sometimes six, at work, so there isn't usually time to blog...or even think about blogging...or think about thinking about blogging...or blog about thinking about blogging...or breath or stay alive...or blog from home, because I'm basically a vegetable by the time I get there and look at the computer like it's the plague.

Anyway, our Christmas miracle! I thought I would blog this since it's a change from all the bad economic news we keep hearing about all the foreclosures. So Ryan and I just got back Saturday night from a week's vacation in Cabo San Lucas and discovered a letter in the mail from our mortgage lender. We got two loans when we bought our place, a big one and a little one. The big loan was only fixed for 3 years and was set to readjust next month. Luckily it was only going up by $400 per month, which we could manage, but still...it's not like anyone's thrilled when their mortgage goes up, right? So anyway, the letter said the lender decided not to readjust the loan after all, and instead they're going to lock it at the current interest rate for the life of the loan. We almost danced a little jig in the kitchen. The whole thing was totally unprompted...we didn't ask for any reconsideration or assistance or anything. The letter just came out of the blue, dated Dec. 23. Like Ryan said, a Christmas miracle. :)

The Cabo trip was a blast. We ate, drank and were merry all over the place, and of course there were plenty of memorable incidents. There were 10 of us...members of my small singing group, Special Blend, along with significant others and friends. Got a hot-stone massage in a nice spa at a neighboring resort. Rode ATVs in the desert and on the beach...it was fun, but my whole body hurt the next day. So the day after that I went back and got another hot-stone massage, this time with Ryan. What a life. :) We went snorkeling and saw lots of fish...Ryan also went sport fishing with three people in our group, and ended up catching a 35-pound dorado (pretty much like a mahi-mahi). His favorite part: when the fisherman beat the fish over the head with a stick. He's such a boy. ;) The hotel cooked up some of the catch and we had a great dinner that night. On New Year's Eve, we stayed in and played Trivial Pursuit while having fresh margaritas and a big spread of munchies from Costco. (Yes, they have Costco down there! And Wal-Mart, Sam's Club and Home Depot. It was surreal.) At midnight we went down to the pool area and watched fireworks on the beach -- which a Mexican dude lit with his cigarette. Classic. Went whale-watching and saw some gigantic sea beasts, along with sea lions and lots of pelicans. Even watched a water taxi rescue a pelican from a fishing line. And of course, I'm glossing over all the tons of great meals and laughs we had. Really fun trip. Here's a video of me, Rob and Paul at around 1 a.m. on New Year's:



I had that friggin' song stuck in my head for three days after that. Now, thanks to this video (and Rob), it will NEVER go away.

So, back to the post-vacation grind. Work is such a buzzkill. It literally took three minutes this morning to undo a week's worth of relaxation. Well, at least we got some time to play!

Um, I will try to blog again sooner.....

Bookworm

Right now I'm reading "The Case For Faith" by former Chicago Tribune journalist Lee Strobel. He has a series of "The Case For..." books, and this is the second one I'm tackling. I read "The Case For Christ" while on my honeymoon in Bora Bora.

The premise of Strobel's books is that he used to be an atheist...pretty much driven to nonbelief by all the horrible things he documented and witnessed as a legal affairs writer for a major metro newspaper. As a journalist, he decided to use his investigative skills to research and interview leading religious scholars in an effort to discover whether Jesus was really who people believe he was. As a result of what he found, Strobel ended up becoming a believer. And a pastor.

The first book was good and he made some excellent points, but I found it only merely interesting because I already believe. The one I'm reading now, however, gets into such a deeper level of exploration that my mind has been in overdrive.

For example, one of the questions the book poses is "if there really is a God, why do so many bad things happen in the world?" This is something I've mulled before. And the conclusion I independently reached is that we are here for spiritual growth, so even though bad things happen, in the long run there is actually some good that comes of it. If we learn from these bad things, that is really a positive. I have always thought about why crappy things happen to people who don't deserve it. But I realize that it's because those experiences teach us things about ourselves. The book pretty much reaches the same conclusion. God does not intervene in the happenings of the world, because they are intended for us to be able to grow. Some people curse God for the pain they have to experience, for not saving them from hardship. But one has to look at the bigger picture. Pain and hardship are only temporary. What we can endure and learn, and incorporate into ourselves, is forever.

There are actually eight questions ("The Big Eight") in the book that are examined by leading scholars. Each scholar takes on a different question. I realize this kind of topic and book may not be for everyone, but it really makes you think. They are questions that almost everyone has thought of in one way or another, but the answers are not always what immediately comes to mind. I'll add that many skeptics say Strobel's books shouldn't be taken as the authoritative voice on Christianity. I agree. What I think is that the books are a starting point for many different thought processes, and it's up to the reader to do further research if he or she so desires. And I think that's how Strobel intends them, too.

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While we're on the topic of reading, I'm not sure I've come out and said it before, but I confess...I'm a bookworm. Don't worry, it's not contagious. I swear. OK, a little topical ointment and you'll be fine...stop whining! The burning sensation is normal. But anyway, I have ALWAYS been an avid reader. And I'm a forgiving reader, too, because I won't usually abandon a book partway through unless I'm realllllly hating it. I will give every book a fair chance and read it to the end. Sometimes I regret that ("Catcher in the Rye," any Steinbeck novel...), but generally I don't. However, I've been realizing lately that I read a lot of "junk food" books. I love Patricia Cornwell, I love some science fiction, and I admit I devoured all the Harry Potters. That's not to say all that stuff is bad...it's just kind of Cheetos for the brain.

So, I made a resolution to read more literature and classics. I went on Amazon yesterday and trolled for some new fare. However, I had some restrictions: no Aldous Huxley ("Brave New World" really turned me off in college), no Steinbeck (classic, I know, but I find it too dry), no authors I read in high school, no books for which I've already seen the movie, I've read plenty of Shakespeare so I don't need more at the moment (even though I really love Bill's work), no Dostoyevsky (at least not right now...seems too heavy), and I did lots of epic lore and poetry in college so nothing that falls in that category. Oh, and no Vonnegut, because I recently watched "Slaughterhouse Five," and Ryan and I were really scratching our heads by the end. I was almost irritated that I had lost two hours of my life to that cinematic randomness.

What I ended up ordering: Tolstoy's "War and Peace" (I would like to be able to say I've read it, plus I want to see what all the hoopla is about), Orwell's "1984" (there are supposedly many parallels between it and the show "Lost," which I love, so it sounds worth checking out), Hemingway's "The Old Man and the Sea" (technically I've already read Hemingway, but this one sounds good), and Hammett's "The Maltese Falcon" (I've heard a lot about it).

Eventually I may add something by Thoreau...I've been wanting to read something of his too.

There are many authors I've already read who I love: Cather, Plath, Fitzgerald, Capote, Maugham, Harper Lee...most of those were as a result of school or movies, but the writing is worth it. Time to beef up my list!

Oh, and on a somewhat related note, David Sedaris has a new book out...whee! Can't wait for it to drop in paperback.

Soiled

I have hit rock bottom. Something happened yesterday and I am horrified. Almost speechless (but again, as I already said in another blog, one can't SAY you're speechless...it just doesn't work). My soul literally feels soiled to the point of annoyed revulsion. I'm spiraling out of control! I feel lost! Helpless!

I heard a song on the radio. Oh God. Oh God. I can't say it. I heard a John Mayer song. Oh please. Don't make me say it. Why! WHY! I heard a John Mayer song on the radio and...no! I can't do it! I CAN'T! I heard...a John Mayer song...on the radio...and I...ARRRRRRR!...I liked it! NOOOOO! It hurts! WHY! HELP MEEEEE!!!! And it's not even a clever song...he just says the same thing over and over again, something about "say what you need to say." HOW! How is it I like this song?! How do you solve a problem like Maria? Why must I be a teenager in love? Insert random lyrical question here!

The world no longer makes sense. John Mayer. Who am I??

Another Winner of a Letter

Here's a letter I was faxed today (what you see here is exactly the way it was written/sent):

NO WAY CALIFORNIA SUPREME COURT DECISION LEGALIZING SAME SEX MARRIAGE MAKE AMERICA BEAUTIFUL &STRONGEST NATION IN WORLD
>CALIFORNIA/AMERICA IS STILL ON GODS CREATED EARTH/WORLD NOT ON THE MARS/HELL
>AMERICA SAY WE TRUST IN GOD BUT CALIFORNIA SUREMCOURT JUDGES&BELIVERS OF SAME SEX PEOPLE TRUST IN GOD MEANS TRUST IN GREAT ONE DEVIL.
NOT IN GREAT ONE DEVINE POWER WHO PROVIDE EVERYTHINGS.
>I THOGHT CA SUPREME COURT JUDGES HAVE COLLEGE DEGREE, WHAT KIND COLLEGE DEGREE IS THIS? WHERE NO MORAL, CULTURES, NO FAMILY VALUES UNDERSTAND?
>DUE TO THIS KIND OF JUDGEMENTS &ABUSE OF FREEDOM IN THE WORLD AMERICA NOT GET RESPECTED &APPRICITED. LIKE IN IRAQ AMERICA SPENT BILLIONS OF U.S.$ TO PROTECT &SAVE IRAQIES PEOPLE &SAFETY, PEACE IN MIDDLE EAST/SAUDI ARABIA &ALSO FOR U.S &WORLD"S HUMAN SAFETY.OTHERWISE WORLD CAN SALUTE U.S.A. GIVE NOBLE PEACE PRIZE TO OVER PRSIDENT BUSH &AMERICAN STRONGE BRAVE TROOPS TO FOR THEIR SACRIFICED. I JUST PRAY GOD BLESSED AMERICA.

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I have talked to this guy before and told him I can't spend the time figuring out what the heck he's trying to say. He got mad because I wouldn't write letters for him, and because I told him to get someone to proofread them or help him write them in proper English before he sends 'em to the paper. And frankly, does he have room to talk about judges' college degrees??

I would like a "Noble" Peace Prize, please.

La La La...

My new work computer program crashed about 20 minutes ago and no one on the Help Desk seems to know what to do to restore it. So I'm just sittin' here, twiddling my thumbs and unable to keep budgeting the paper...guess I won't be pitching much of anything in the morning conference call!

Oh yeah, Aida started calling again. She hasn't called in like two years, but suddenly I got two VMs from her yesterday. Here's how they went:

(VM 1)
Ms. Santos? Congratulations, you are finally on tip top, with journilades de veritas, uh, college paper and UST, the (unintelligible) paper, that's the paper. Ms. Santos, this is Aida, daily extra extra and review. Today's paper was safely delivered and anchored, all in unison with HD. And so congratulations again, and uh, as far as the ballroom goes, uh, here in Castro Valley, well, what can you say, I am there with a day spa -- anytime you are ready, I am ready. And, uh, as they say, they had a performance last weekend, well, what can you say. Here in my paradise...Eden Valley paradise garden...PARADISE...my garden is regained. Remember that's way back in 1946, OK? The forum, OK? This is, again, you're up to date, you're on tip top...I'm happy for you. As far as Newsom in San Francisco, well the better of the sex are we, aren't we? Unisex? So, Ms. Santos, or should I say Kim? Congratulations again, you made it up there. Veritas! Ponce de Manila, OK? Bye.

(VM 2)
Holy holy holy God, Heaven and Earth are filled with your glory, Hosanna in the highest. Santos santos santos, holy holy holy. This is Aida, daily extra extra and review. And, uh, as far as Dennis, well I guess what can you say? Uh, he's not alone in signing off, there was a man on board, he was a co-anchor, maybe that was before you were born. Huh? This is the truth. Signing off now, and uh, again, rugel rugel, as they say, in the forum it was noted that they will be presenting last weekend, well again, that was before you were born, 1946, again I repeat. Paradise, here in Eden Valley, paradise lost, paradise regained. I have a weekend to gain (laughs) ... much to gain because I have a weekend for six days, six unisex...unisex...way before you were born. More power to it, more power to it, huh? Flora Santos. Ms. Santos. (laughs) Um, veritas, again, I repeat...it's really, the whole delivery was really good, OK? We are subscribers for three or four newspapers and that's enough for us all around. Plus we have all the facilities here (unintelligible), well, what can you say? Should all acquaintance (lapses into Spanish for a few sentences), well what can you say? Governor Arnold has found different resources to support his economical thing, you got to... (message cuts off)

Where have I been?

Yeah, yeah, I know...I haven't written in a looooooong time. But there's a good reason for that! Basically, work is kicking my ass.

No, seriously, it's almost like National Lampoon's Newsroom right now. I lost a photographer, a reporter and my assistant editor to buyouts. The photo department took care of the photographer position pretty easily -- transferred one from another office. But then a family emergency came up and she's been on leave for 3 weeks and will be out until the beginning of June. Meanwhile, the other remaining photographer went on vacation, and then also had a family emergency pop up, so for the past few weeks we've been photographer-less. Finally, we have one back this week.

Now, for the reporter position. I will make a loooooong story short, since I also don't want to divulge any details that should probably stay between me and the company, but the hiring process for that position got so convoluted, I didn't get a freelancer on board until last week. Finally, I have Saturdays covered. He's a whiz kid, so I feel good about that choice.

Part of the reason I've been so swamped is because I no longer had an assistant editor. Finally, this week -- almost two months since the buyouts -- I have a city editor. But he's split between me and another paper, so this week he's at the other paper. Basically, every other week I'm on my own. At least he can cover nights for me at the other office.

While all this has been going on, the company also decided to create a new beat and hired one of my reporters for it. He's my ace reporter, so I'm sad to lose him. After a long search (well, what I assume was one...it took long enough), the company delivered me a replacement, who is shadowing my out-going reporter this week. And today, she (the replacement) told me she accepted another job. So yeah, I'm out a reporter again in a couple weeks. On the biggest beat in the newsroom. Sigh.

Now hang on, it doesn't stop there! This week we rolled out our new computer system, and it's been a complete fustercluck (which, coincidentally, is also the name of the chicken restaurant I want to open -- Fustercluck's). I'm what they call a "Power User," which is basically a fancy term for "tech bitch." I spend all day running around the newsroom trying to figure out why someone's login doesn't work, why someone can't find something, etc. In between answering my phone and also trying to figure out my own computer's quirks. Today I even spent 20 minutes fiddling with a reporter's keyboard because he couldn't type any capital letters...only to find out that because his desk was such a mess, a folder had been resting on the Scroll Lock key for several hours. The file was removed, and tada, the Shift key was functional once again. Seriously, this is what I get paid for. Did I mention that I also get to assign and edit stories??

Today my whole system locked up on me and then wouldn't accept any of my logins. Yesterday I mysteriously lost the ability to unlock files, despite the fact that my account has authorization. The photographer who just returned apparently hadn't been apprised of the new way to file photos and did it the old way yesterday, which created such havoc on so many levels that I'm still speechless as to the hoops I had to jump through just to get those photos to the designers by deadline. No one who is supposed to know anything actually knows it when I ask a question, which has been so very helpful. Oh, and don't even get me started on the editor at my sister paper, who is in the middle of a meltdown every time he calls me. Yesterday he didn't know how to toggle between windows. Today he claimed his e-mail didn't work. Seriously, my neck is so tense right now I can barely turn my head!

So, that's why I haven't written in a while. I literally have almost zero time at work now, which is the reason for this late posting -- I'm writing this on the couch! In my PJs. Which I wish I could wear forever.

We're going camping this weekend, so hopefully some time outdoors will help slough off some of the office-inflicted gloom!

A Day in the Life

If you've ever wondered what an editor does all day, this is for you.

MARCH 19, 2008

9-10 a.m. Arrive to 13 voicemails from readers irate about Coffee Break page. Tuesday's puzzles reprinted in Wednesday's paper. Wait, sorry, 12 messages about Coffee Break, 1 message about whether I will come speak at Leadership Hayward again this year. E-mail Living editor about Coffee Break. Hear back that it was a press operator error (someone grabbed the wrong plate and put it on the press) and only happened in my paper. What luck!

10-11 a.m. Change outgoing voicemail message to say that I am aware of Coffee Break error and working on getting answers to Tuesday puzzles printed in Thursday's paper. People seem to ignore (?) recording and continue leaving messages about error, as in "did you notice that today's Coffee Break page is wrong?" Bang head against desk. Curse life. Delete messages. Work on budgeting Thursday's paper. Call editor at closest sister paper about coordinating our front pages (new system...yuck).

11 a.m. Sit in conference room with coffee and wait 15 minutes for daily conference call. It never comes; I return to my desk. No notice about meeting's lateness. Conference call finally comes through. Participate tacitly.

11:30 a.m. Sister-paper editor calls to whine about something. I half listen while working on budget.

11:45 a.m. Phone continues to ring off hook. I don't answer. Voicemail recording should take care of majority of today's calls. If I answer, I will have an aneurysm speaking to someone. Receive snail mail from reader (for second day in a row) pointing out incorrect use of "whomever" in a story. E-mail copy desk about not gratuitously changing "whoever" to "whomever" in stories and to review their grammar.

11:50 a.m. Contemplate career choice and wonder why we only get so many calls when puzzles are incorrect. It appears people subscribe just for puzzles. Hm. Also, never get any calls about anything good. Apparently, my official job title is Complaint Department Operator. Leave to go meet window guy at home so he can measure windows for replacement.

12-1:15 p.m. Window guy tracks mud all over my clean floor, but quickly measures windows and leave. Indulge in Taco Bell and bring it home to enjoy while watching recorded episode of Dateline. Take slightly longer lunch break because I feel the cosmos owes it to me today.

1:20-2:45 p.m. Arrive to more messages on voicemail about Coffee Break. Don’t people listen?! Here is exact outgoing message (after usual greeting): "If you are calling about today's Coffee Break page, I am aware of the error and working with our Living department to see if we can run the answers to Tuesday's puzzles in Thursday's paper. If you are calling about anything else, please leave a message and I will return it at my earliest convenience. Thank you." WTF? Also, clerk tells me someone called during my break and demanded we issue him a 50-cent check for the error. When the clerk refused, the man demanded to come down and get it from our petty cash (which, coincidentally, we don't have). Utter a few profanities. Continue to fiddle with budget, spend half an hour putting together letters to the editor only to find out new designer isn't up to handling letters yet and they won't run tomorrow, confab with sister-paper editor about possible A1 choices, comb through garbled state-wire pitches.

2:45 p.m. Afternoon conference call. One of the editors sounds like he is raping the speaker until I ask if he can please do whatever he's doing right ON TOP of the speaker, and he realizes it isn't on mute. Otherwise normal meeting.

3-3:30 p.m. Coordinate with sister-paper editor on final A1 choices, finish budget, send to designers. Calls STILL coming in about Coffee Break. Don't know why people would think that at 3:30 p.m. I'm still not aware of a complete reprint of a page. Curse life again. Curse people in general for their snide tone of voice when leaving messages: "Yeah, hello, what the hell are you people doing down there? The Coffee Break is the same as Tuesday. You all need to get your acts together. I don’t know what you think you're doing, but you need to fix it. Call me at blah blah blah..." Yes, right away, my liege. Oh, and just so you know, it takes a whole DAY for a correction to show up, so your impatience in seeing it fixed is ridiculously unnecessary. I can't pull a mimeograph out of my pocket and run off an instant correction for you. Peabrain.

3:30-4:25 p.m. Edit stories, field e-mails about tonight's coverage of Iraq War anniversary protests. As of this writing, voicemail light is on again. OK, just checked it, one voicemail from someone who didn't say why he was calling but wanted me to call him back (no, sorry, you have to tell me why you want me to call you if I'm going to take time out to do it) and one VM from our photographer, who was heading to a last-minute assignment. Speak to whiny dad who is upset that sister paper didn't run anything about his Boy Scout son growing his hair out and donating it to Locks of Love. Answer: They run stuff like that all the time. He says girlfriend spoke to the editor, who was "uncooperative" and then proceeded to run "a bunch of news about Arabs" instead, which was "very un-American." Man wanted to bypass sister paper and make ME run something. I say no, he is in sister paper's coverage area and I don't snipe their coverage. Furthermore, I say I'm not sure what he expects my response to be to claims of un-American-ism –- to be fair, sister paper's coverage area has a heavy concentration of different ethnicities, many of them Arab. He asks if he can bypass me and talk to my boss. I say no, he should try talking to sister editor first. He says no, he already tried that. I say NO you didn’t, your girlfriend did...so why don't you try talking to him yourself? He says yes, I'm right, he should do that. End of call.

4:25-5:15 p.m. Lull in workload. No copy coming in yet. Phone still ringing. Check e-mails, surf Web for a bit, reply to personal e-mails, update budget with new developments, keep staring at sheet music on desk that needs to be learned by tonight. When?! Peruse job listings...nothing good. Take cell call from my sister.

5:15-6:10 p.m. Edit some captions and a story, field questions from copy editors, delegate photo assignments to reporters. Actually find time to quickly review sheet music for tonight. Know songs about 80 percent. Bathroom break. Wait for two lagging reporters to finish and file their stories. Need to be in Alamo by 7. Reporters say "5 more minutes." Which almost always means 20 more minutes. 6:15 –- ah, one is in! OK, edited. Now 6:25. Still waiting for other story. Reporter says "yeah, yeah, I'm done." Don't see it yet... Aha! There it is. Edited. Realized that another sister paper's story about the nurse strike is too focused on their area for us to run as is. Pull in copy of story and tweak it to be more relevant to our area. Send to copy editors.

6:40 p.m. Leave office and dash to rehearsal! Make it there only 10 minutes late.

7:45 p.m. Work calls. Can't find new nurse story I did. I know I sent it, so problem must be with computer program again. (Had same problem earlier in the day.) Advise designer to call night editor at yet another sister paper to see if she can resend for him.

Rest of night is normal.

Even more random bits

OK, first I would like to announce my selection for American Idol:



This kid is only 16! He is amazing. He did a really nice rendition of "Think Twice" last week, but I thought his "Imagine" performance was better.

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Staying on the Idol theme, it occurred to me while watching this week that Danny Noriega has Victor/Victoria syndrome. Namely, he strikes me as a girl impersonating a boy impersonating a girl. Check it out for yourself!



His voice is usually not bad, but this wasn't his week. Also, I HATE that song!

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I realized the other day that I have a habit of putting the toilet lid down before I leave the bathroom. I think this goes back to when I had my cat Mr. Moo...I caught him drinking out of the toilet a couple times, so I started putting the lid down. Now, four years later, I still do it!

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Update on work sitch: They announced today that there were enough buyouts to avoid involuntary layoffs. But that still means I'm losing three employees. Indeed, this will be interesting as we move forward and I try to figure out how to cover the duties of these three positions. For some baffling reason, I feel a complete lack of enthusiasm. Hm. Curious.

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My new theory as to what LOST is all about now relates back to the graphic novel "The Watchmen." However, it's all swimming in my head and I need to sort it out and lay down what I think is going on. But basically, what I believe we're dealing with here is "saving the world," and yes, I think everyone was intentionally brought to the island. I have to admit that the LOST creators are quite genius. And I should thank them for the endless days I've spent chatting about LOST online with Lil D. It is the ultimate time suck. LOST is the new black!

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Speaking of things being the new black, I tried to find the Tina Fey Weekend Update bit about Hillary Clinton and how "bitch is the new black," but it's almost overwhelming to sort through all the returns on a Hillary search on YouTube. But I found the other one I was looking for, which I thought was pretty funny:



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Lastly, I finally finished reading the Judy Garland biography...which proved to be sad right up to the end. To think of all that talent ending in a locked bathroom, slumped over the toilet. But she herself said she would have done her life all over again with all the same mistakes. I don't think she hated living...there were just too many factors that made it hard for her to keep control her life. Namely:

-An overbearing stage mom who made it clear through her actions that her daughter was nothing but a meal ticket, a way of vicariously living out her showbiz dreams...including drugging her so she could always "keep her going." Unfortunately, that kicked off a lifelong addiction, and a precedent that any time she felt out of control, she need only pop a pill to fix it. Her mom was never seen to hug her or tell her she loved her...basically, mom was just a "manager."

-A string of men who took advantage of her. Egad, the woman did not have good taste in men. Almost all of them either turned out to be secretly gay/bisexual or gigantic embezzlers. My gosh, one of her husbands even slept with Liza's husband! In my opinion, Joe Mankiewicz could've been the one good guy for her...but his wife wouldn't let him go. Anyway, she almost never saw one physical penny of the millions she earned. She died broke, thanks to really bad mismanagement and the inability of one single person to do right by her and just be honest. I don't get that...I know it's tempting to take something for yourself, but that is just really not right to steal from someone who literally had to sing for her supper. How hard is it to just be honest?? Embezzlers are some of the most disgusting human beings, if you ask me.

-Bad home-life examples. Her dad was secretly in love with teenage boys, her mom cheated with her best friend's husband...Judy became quite the cheater herself as she grew up. There wasn't really any good foundation for her to go on. History repeats itself. I think being with lots of different men made her feel like she was in control, because she could always move on and just pick a new guy...but really, what she needed was positive attention, and she almost never truly got it from many of the men.

So, it's clear that she just never really felt like she was in control of anything. She felt like MGM owned her and told her who she could and couldn't be, and because of her home life, she always retaliated by going off the deep end. Her dad died when she was pretty young, so she mostly grew up with her mom who didn't act like she loved her...so Judy was always looking for love and attention wherever she could get it. And a lot of guys took advantage of that. It's sad, really, because if everyone had just treated her like a human being, instead of like property/income/status, we might have seen a very different ending to her life. I feel bad for her kids, who had to witness a lot of really un-kid-friendly things. Liza even had to carry around a stomach pump and save her mom's life a few times.

I'd like to read a Liza biography soon, to see what her perspective was like. I'd also like to know what has become of her son Joey Luft, who you almost never hear about.

Random bits

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while...lots has been going on to preoccupy me. Mostly work-related...the company announced last week that major cost reductions need to be made, including downsizing the workforce, so every employee has been offered a voluntary buyout. The announcement of how many buyouts will be given and to whom will be disclosed next week, and then involuntary layoffs are expected very soon after that. I'm not worried about my own job, but there is a gloomy and somewhat fearful mood among employees at all our papers, and it makes getting things done a little more difficult. As a manager, I can see how and why the company needs to do this...even though we are a newspaper and dedicated to serving and informing the public, the fact of the matter is we are still a business, and we have to operate the way other businesses operate. When revenue stops flowing, steps need to be taken. As a person, I don't like that it involves laying off employees, but at this point, I'm not sure much of anything else can be done to make enough of an impact on our monetary losses. So, anyway, that's what's been going on. Within about two weeks, the workplace could be very different from what I/we know now.

I was also gone for a few days...Ryan and I left Thursday night to visit his parents in Arizona, and got back last night. It's a verrrrry long drive, but we still had a good time. On the way down we stopped in a little ghost town called Calico. It was restored by Knott's Berry Farm in the '60s, I believe. It's a cute little place and we had fun exploring it. Ryan had been there as a little kid and wanted to go back...I'm surprised he still remembered how to get there!

I've also been boning up on all the music I have to learn for a spate of upcoming performances with both Special Blend and The Blackhawk Chorus. The Blenders have quite a few gigs scheduled (woo!), and the repertoire for each one is slightly different. There are some songs I need to learn that they already know from before I was in the group, so I have to get on that quickly to catch up, and in the meantime we've been sight-reading new stuff just for fun. We are learning a super-hard version of "That Old Black Magic" for our appearance with BHC. I like it...it's grown on me...but the piece is set to an almost hilariously fast Latin beat. That song fits into the BHC's spring theme of A Tribute to Judy Garland, which leads me to my next random bit...

I've been reading a very well-written biography of Judy Garland's life, "Get Happy" by Gerald Clarke. I've actually been depressed since I've been reading the book, because I can't get over how heartbreaking Judy Garland's life was, and how miserable she must have been even though she oozed natural talent! So many things fed into major self-doubt...she never believed she was really that talented or pretty...and that, coupled with the fact that her mother and MGM started and basically encouraged her drug addiction, are the major issues that underscored a life that was valued by many adoring fans, but not by the person who was living it. Seriously, you just have to read the book. I found a used copy on Amazon for $6. I feel emotionally drained just thinking about how awesome this person was, but almost everyone in her life basically took a crap on her and didn't stick around to help clean it up.

Check out this video from "Meet Me in Saint Louis," which I believe was filmed/released in 1945 and was said to be one of Judy's favorites because she actually liked the way she looked in it (thanks in part to her eventual husband and baby daddy, Vincente Minelli, who was the director).



All this got me to thinking about Britney Spears, and how she must be suffering some of the same problems. Now yes, I know, I have said some unkind words about the Brit. And I don't know that I feel complete sympathy for her yet...but Judy Garland's life does make me ponder Britney's situation, and feel a little bit of remorse. The public eye can be very unkind, and can serve to enhance what damage has already been done. We are all "wounded spirits," in one way or another, but don't always stop to recognize that fact in regards to someone else's situation. I don't know what exactly is going on in the Spears world, but I do know that what is being said or talked about probably isn't helping. I'm not going to cry on the Internet about it like that creepy YouTube dude, but I thought I should call attention to the fact that when you think about it, none of us really has the right to judge...you never know what is really going on in someone's life, nor whether that person even has that much control over it (or that much awareness of reality to begin with, so can they really help it?). Makes ya think. I know celebrities are aware that as public figures, they will become the target of more scrutiny and attention, but sometimes a line has to be drawn as to what gets criticized and what get singled out as needing assistance. I don't think any of us would sit back and watch someone throw themselves off a bridge without trying to do something about it...well, basically that's what we're doing with Britney...and what people did with Judy. In retrospect, it's like, "why didn't anyone do something?!" I know there's a difference between an MGM legend and a modern pop princess, but still...at the core, they are/were both human beings. That has to be worth something. We can't all really be that heartless.

Well, there you go...some wheels turning in my mind as I read my book!

Gotta love calls from readers

Today I am a "f*cking b*tch who need to get her @ss straight."

Moment of Reflection

I've been absolutely swamped with stuff lately, but just wanted to jot off a short entry. I was reminded today how sad my job can be...just the general spectrum of people I come into contact with, it makes me realize how chaotic the world is.

I just got done reading two letters to the editor from a diagnosed schizophrenic who is in his 50s. One letter talks about how he is having difficulty receiving credit for a math proof, and he wants everyone to know; the other talks about some kind of signs or fliers that have been torn down in his neighborhood. I don't know why, it made me feel sad. Yesterday I got a call from one of the regulars, who always makes my eyes roll with his tangential conversations and looooong-winded diatribes. But I also acknowledge that he probably doesn't have anything else to do.

People call me up angry all the time. They call and tell me I'm an idiot for one decision or another that I've made (or the company has made) that they don't like...they call me out on news judgment, accuracy, all sorts of stuff...and they don't spare on the names or disparaging remarks. It still irritates me, but I realize that somehow it makes them feel better. I guess it's soothing or therapeutic for them to tell the local newspaper editor she is a piece of crap.

I have come to accept that as part of my job...and as a journalist in general, because it comes with the territory. But instead of making me feel inept, it shows me how sad, ugly and miserable people are out there...and they continue to prove it to themselves every day. That's pretty depressing to think about.

It's just a little sad, sitting here at my desk, thinking about the schizophrenic guy who just wants someone to listen, that there are so many voices in the world that drown each other out. As one of the people it all filters too, it paints a broader picture that lots of people don't see, or take the time to look at: Basically, a good portion of the population is angry all the time. It's too bad people don't calm down more and have fun!

Dammit, Tagged Again!

Once again I fall victim to the omnipotent blog tag. Here are my seven random things:

1. I hate being cold. HATE. IT. I would almost rather drop an anvil on my foot than be miserable and cold. Oddly enough, my first instinct anytime I'm cold is to want to take a bath or shower. Somehow I did not inherit my mom's serpent-like abilities to withstand low temperatures. She never -- EVER -- turns on the heater in her house. The second I walk in her door, I flip it on. And then Mom and I have a silent battle over the thermostat, which usually entails her turning it down to 55 and me surreptitiously bumping it back up to 68 (any higher than that and she'll notice right away). My sister said she was home alone once and she turned the heater on, and it came on at 55! Yikes. Anyway, I love the snow -- but not for very long -- and I love rainy countries like England and Ireland. But I am just not a cold-weather gal. My hands and feet are always blocks of ice. Ryan makes fun of me. :)

2. Despite the above, I can eat ice cream at any time of day. It can be frickin' Hoth outside (kudos if you got my Star Wars reference), and I'll eat ice cream if it's there. I'm not sure what's so appealing about it. I especially love the gelato. If I go to a gelato bar and stare at all the creamy-looking offerings, I *will* cave and get some. And then, usually, I'm cold afterwards and need to put a jacket on. Funny that.

3. One of the things that freaks me out the most is when I leave work for the day and head out to my car in the parking lot. Now, we don't have a very big parking lot, but I always seem to forget where in the h-e-double chopsticks I parked! Even when I park the car just two or three hours before I get off work, I still wander around looking for it. What freaks me out, I think, is how much I've had my head in work up to that point. I'm usually steeped in to-do lists, editing copy and doing general managerial things, and I'm so....involved. Then I go outside and it's like work is the womb that has just given birth to me. I stand there all wild-eyed and out of sorts. A couple times I've walked right past the car. It's scary how much of my brain power work eats up!

4. Yes, I am addicted to Xbox. I'm 96.8 percent done with Star Wars II (The Original Trilogy) and am still picking away at Guitar Hero II before moving on to GHIII, which Ryan got me for Christmas. I'm about halfway done with the Expert level on GHII, and I have to say that I think Hard was a little bit harder. Hard required all sorts of fast fretwork that makes you feel like you're getting carpal tunnel or want to chop your arms off at the elbows. Expert, at least, mixes chords with fretwork. Don't get me wrong, it's still difficult! But I think passing Hard was more of a chore. Then again, I'm only halfway through Expert. We'll see what happens when I hit Freebird. Oi.

5. I am trying to teach my cats tricks. They got TONS of treats for Christmas, from various sources, so I figured I'd put them to use. I want to teach Toulouse to shake hands and Ever to talk. It's too easy to teach Toulouse to talk...he meows every time I take out a treat anyway. But Ever usually only meows when she wants attention. (Example, every night I come home, I go to the bedroom to change clothes, etc. About 10 minutes will go by and then I'll hear a questioning meow from the living room, which is Ever asking me to come say hi to her.) And I can't teach her to shake hands because she HATES having her feet touched. Anyway, the training is slooow right now. Toulouse doesn't want to sit and lift his paw...he just wants to smell the treat in my hand and then gobble it (and Ever's, too, if he can get it). Ever doesn't want to meow, she wants her treat before Toulouse eats it. So, we'll see how it goes. I know it can be done! A friend's cat gives high fives.

6. I turn 30 soon and surprisingly have little feeling about it either way. I think it will be weird to say I'm 30 when someone asks, but otherwise, it doesn't bother me or anything. Maybe because I'm still getting used to introducing myself with a new name, and going through the name-change process. If I wasn't focused on that, then maybe I'd ruminate on 30 more. (BTW, good news on the name-change front...I went to the SSA the other day and waited about an hour and a half. When I got called, it took about 5 minutes. I can apply for a new driver's license starting Wednesday, and I should get my name-change confirmation from SSA in about a week.)

7. I give Britney Spears two months to live. That's right, you heard it here first! She's on a path to self-destruction. I don't care who goes on the Internet and cries about it on video, it's gonna happen. That poor girl just doesn't seem long for this world. It's gonna be Anna Nicole II. (Sidenote: I just made a $20 bet with a co-worker on this. Britney has until March 8, or I have to pay up!)

So here are the rules: Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, we all want to know them. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post.

Dom
Lacey
Kelley
Julie
Jodie
Beth
Danielle

What?!

Here's a doozy of a letter that landed on my desk today:

All truly Spiritual Religious individuals recognize our truly Spiritual Common Ground, as one may see our Religious Reality as in the Birth of GOD into our mental knowledge of our now known/recognized GOD!

All truly Spiritual Religions are based upon a Humane Foundation, as in Safety for all Individual Lives, be they Current Lives, as well as Future Lives, as well as for all Humans being humane!

Hayward Militant Police are a City Official, as in Public Assets of, or in a Violent Source upon an Innocent Person, and or a Intimidation Source upon an Innocent Person, as well as a False Accusation Source upon an Innocent Person.

How Lovingly Smart, Humane is such true behavior of the Hayward Militant Police?

Weird Dream

As you may or may not know, I tend to have vivid, weird dreams. I actually haven't been having very many over the past few months, but last night's was a doozy. I'll try to write what I remember (of course, I woke up at 3 a.m. and repeated the whole thing to myself, but by this morning, some details had faded - and yes, I know, you're supposed to write it down or talk into a tape recorder or something, but it was 3 a.m. and I wasn't about to do either of those things).

The scene is a cemetery next to a school. I am currently a spectator, observing as if I'm watching a movie. It's nighttime, and I am aware that someone I know has been persecuted and killed for being an activist-- no details beyond that. Apparently this person had been on a hunger strike and was starved down to almost nothing, and their body (I think it was a man) had been thrown into the cemetery all shriveled and bloody. I remember thinking to myself that it looked like a deer that had been hit on the road.

I'm crying and realize that Ryan, our friend Julie and another guy are there. I knew who the other guy was at 3 a.m., but now I don't remember. All of a sudden we're all panicked -- we need to get the body out of there right away, it needs to be buried properly. I'm still only able to watch. Ryan and the other guy are on either side of the body and insert a stretcher underneath. Julie is in the middle and they are all trying with all their might to wrench this body from the ground. Nearby, a sort of cave or hole opens up in the hillside and they are able to quickly tip the body up and into the hole. We are all relieved.

Now I walk towards the school. Oddly enough, I run into my journalism teacher from junior college and am happy to see her. She asks what's wrong and offers to let me hide in her classroom. We go in and it's empty, but for some reason I need to put tables in there. Really long, skinny tables that for some reason I call "rally tables." I'm debating with Ryan, Julie and the other guy about whether they need to be wood or plastic...wood or plastic...wood or plastic. I finally yell out plastic! and they start bringing them in in a jumble. The tables are sliding all over the room and we're trying to make sense of them and put them in the right place. It's almost like bumper cars. The whole room is pink and orange.

Then, I wake up.

I have no idea what this means -- or if it's supposed to mean anything -- but it's weird nonetheless! I just remembered that I had another dream the other night involving one of my old employees. Something to do with a fence. It's odd how these people I haven't thought of or talked to in a long time suddenly pop up in my dreams!

Grinchtastic

This is why I hate holiday shopping at the mall.

First, it takes forever to find parking. I could find a cure for cancer in the time it takes to find a decent spot. I say decent because invariably it has to be raining on the day you go shop. Or at least mildly yucky. And you know that you're not going to want to soak your pant legs carrying an armful of goods to the awaiting chariot.

Finally, you settle for a quasi-OK spot and trudge inside, but not before having to dodge the jerk backing his car out without looking and the lady pushing the quadruple stroller while yakking on her cell phone and balancing a venti Starbucks.

There is now only 40 minutes left of your lunch break, so with determination you head to your desired store. But no! Wait! You must run the gauntlet of kiosks situated oh-so-conveniently in the middle of the mall! The entire LENGTH of the mall. They all beckon with the same annoying line: "Can I ask you a quick question?" No. You can't. If I wanted you to ask me a question, I would just stand motionless in the middle of the mall and allow you buzzards to set upon me at free will. I'm moving here, buddy! With determination! You may not, at any time, ask me a "quick question." In fact, I'm annoyed that you even asked me if you could ask me a question. Now I'm going to ask YOU if I can stick my foot up your bum.

Sidenote: Why does there always have to be that one creepy Eastern European guy who wants to drape some heated beanbag thing on your shoulders or massage lotion into your hands? I find this the ultimate in Comfort Bubble violation. I do not find pleasure in being molested by Count Dracula and his mall minions, especially when I am in a hurry. And I despise them even more because they completely bypass the whole "quick question" ploy! I sentence them to eternal lasagna from Sbarro.

Anyway, you manage to make it to your desired store. And, because the store is busy, you actually get to shop for once without being harassed by salespeople. Score! This is the only positive aspect of holiday shopping at the mall. But it's short-lived satisfaction, because it's time to head to the register. First, the line is never less than five people deep. You are usually the fifth/last person. You have one item. Everyone in front of you has 247.5 items. There are two people working the register. One is usually having some sort of computer problem and is spending every precious second banging on buttons and/or scanning and rescanning an item while shaking her head -- "No, I don't know what's wrong, it's not letting me do it." The other employee is usually having a heated exchange with a customer who speaks minimal English and is angrily trying to understand why she can't use two coupons at the same time. OR, he/she is trying to return something and doesn't have the receipt. The employee becomes exasperated and fetches a manager. The manager has the same EXACT dialogue the employee just had with the customer. Customer huffs and puffs; everyone left in line shakes their heads and rolls their eyes. Your lunch break ended five minutes ago. This is right around the time that employee #2's register also decides to act wonky (immediately after, I forgot to mention, some deal has been struck with angry customer).

Somehow, you finally make it to the front and it takes less than two minutes to purchase your item. WTF? Why is that so hard for everyone else?

Time to head back to the car, but first you have to squeeze past the couple holding hands, walking slooooowwwwly AND blocking the whole mall walkway.

I wonder if the Grinch has high blood pressure.

Bora Bora Photos

At long last, our vacation photos are ready for your perusal. Follow this link to view them and read Ryan's narration. Enjoy!

www.wilit.com/bora.html

And, in case you want to see some of our other vacations while you're at it: www.wilit.com/vacations.html. (Click on the maps/graphics to see each vacation.)

I've Been Made an Honest Woman

Meaning yes, I am finally married!

I wrote a long blog yesterday and lost it, so I will attempt to recreate it today. But don't think I'm not pissed about it! It took me like an hour to write that entry. :(

Anyway, we got back on Saturday from our honeymoon in Bora Bora. One of the best trips of my life! Ryan is putting together the photos and a narrative, so I hope to be able to post that soon.

As for the wedding, everything went almost perfectly. There are only two things I would have changed, but I was otherwise extremely happy with how things turned out, especially since I've never planned a wedding before (or even been THAT involved in one) and was basically winging it. It was a very, very happy day, and Ryan and I loved every minute. :0) The two things I would have changed are:

-When I took my mom to the site to scope things out, I told her I didn't want an aisle runner. I thought it would bunch up on the grass and make it difficult to walk. So she suggested getting a short runner and putting it just on the steps to the gazebo. I compromised and said OK. Come wedding day, I walk out and find...a full-length runner. And because of the wind, yep, it bunched up on the grass and made it hard to walk. Not only that, but there were a few large-ish rocks attempting to hold it down, which I nearly tripped over. I was annoyed about the runner, but I know Mom had good intentions. Also, I think someone might have meant to cut the runner but ran out of time, since the roll was still on it. Here's what everything looked like before the ceremony:



-The other thing I would have changed is that I watched some videos someone shot of the ceremony and saw that there was a long waiting period between our parents being seated and the bridal party walking down the aisle. Someone told me they thought this was because they were waiting for the song to end, but I had scheduled the same song for the parental seating and the bridal party because I thought it wouldn't take too long to seat the parents...definitely not a whole song. So, in retrospect, I probably should have assigned someone to stand by the entrance and cue us to walk down the aisle. But, not a huge deal. There also seemed to be a small waiting period before I walked down the aisle, but this was because I chose a specific song and didn't want to have only 30 seconds of it play before it had to be turned off. ;0)

Here are some ceremony shots:


Father Dittler and Ryan waiting at the "altar"


Rob and Katie...our parents were seated and the bridal party walked out to Eva Cassidy's "Fields of Gold"


Brian ("Remy") and Julie...sorry the photos are on the small side, I had to copy them from the photo sites where my friends posted them


Jeff and Jodie


Ryan's best friend and Best Man, Bryan, and my sister and Maid of Honor, Dominique...didn't all of the bridal party look fabulous??


Our adult flower girl, Brooke! She was such a great sport


Everyone waiting for lil ol' me


My brother Henri and I walking down the aisle...my selected song was Edith Piaf's "La Vie En Rose," as a nod to my French background. Before the ceremony, guests received the lyrics printed in French and English.


Listening to Ryan's sister Allison read an excerpt from "O, the Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Seuss


Ever the nonconformists, the bride dips the groom!


We have been pronounced husband and wife! And yes, I cried during the ceremony, despite my best efforts not to. Here we are recessing to "Linus and Lucy," otherwise known as the Peanuts theme.

After the ceremony, we took a buttload of photos, then arrived and were introduced at the reception to "The Imperial March" from Star Wars. Bryan and my sister gave excellent (and epic, in my sister's case) speeches for their toasts, and then Special Blend and I performed "The Shadow of Your Smile" from the movie "The Sandpiper" as a surprise to Ryan. I have to say, it's really hard singing in front of a room full of people you know! After that we had lunch, or, in my case, half a lunch because the other half would not fit in my dress. Seriously! Ryan and I then tried to make our rounds and talk to each table, but I ended up being whisked away in the middle by my friend/makeup artist to fix a blemish on my face that had scabbed and was falling off (gross, I know, but whaddya do). So, to my chagrin, I was not able to make it to every table before the end of the meal. My dear Lulu, I have apologized profusely, but I just want to publicly say again that I'm sorry we didn't get to talk! But I saw your grinning faces in the front row during the cake cutting. :0)

Here's what the room looked like:


The table-number cards were made using funny vacation photos of Ryan and I

I had scheduled in a song to be played in tribute to Ryan's grandfather, who died last year, and to my dad. One of my dad's oldest friends approached me during lunch and asked if he could say a few impromptu words about my father. I thought it was a great idea, and perfect timing, so I connected him with the DJ. But because I didn't know what he was going to say beforehand, I wasn't prepared, so yes, I ended up crying half my makeup off. But what he said was very nice, and then the DJ played "In My Life" by The Beatles.

Next was the first dance, to "Miracle" by the Foo Fighters. Foo Fighters have special meaning for Ryan and I because we had such a blast at their concerts over the past few years. We have always shared a love for their music, so we thought it fitting to make one of their songs be "our song."

Here's us dancing:


The first dance was followed by the bridal party dance, and the song was Garry Stevens' "Beyond the Sea." That song also had special meaning, because I have performed with Garry with Special Blend and the Contra Costa Jazz Band. Garry is something like 93 years old, and in the '40s he was the No. 4 singer in the country. (No. 1 was Frank Sinatra, so that gives you an idea of his competition!) Garry was the first to record "Beyond the Sea," but it never took off until Bobby Darin recorded the now-famous version. Garry still has a great voice and still performs. In fact, Special Blend will be performing with him and CCJB again this December.

Then the dance floor was opened to everyone and we boogied our heads off until it was time to cut the cake. Which ended up being a semi-annoying experience, because no one could find the photographer for a while. But, eventually she was reined in and we carved up some cake, even though we didn't really know what we were doing or were supposed to do. ;0) The cake was four tiers, with ivory buttercream frosting, gold bands, and cranberry-colored marzipan grapes with fresh ivy draped on the side. Ryan made the cake topper based on an idea we both came up with. It featured a little Lego bride and groom standing in front of two computers, to signify how we met on Match.com, and two little black cats (our babies). The cake-cutting song was "Knock Me a Kiss" by Louis Jordan, which was the DJ's suggestion and worked out perfectly. It starts with "I like cake..."


There were two different flavors: almond-vanilla and "chocolate obsession" (chocolate and raspberry)


The famed cake topper

Next was the bouquet toss, which I did to Eva Cassidy's "I Wish I Was a Single Girl Again." The bouquet went straight to my friend Lacey. She didn't even have time or a chance to avoid it! So, Lacey, you're next! ;0)

That was followed by the garter toss. The second I heard Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" start, I realized I had completely forgotten to even put the garter on! In a frenzy, I dashed upstairs, fished the garter out of my bag and jammed it onto my right leg. I don't even know if that's the leg it was supposed to go on, but nevertheless, that's where it went. Ryan made a cute little show of taking it off, which I can't wait to see the photos of. Who caught the garter? Ryan's 10-year-old nephew (and the ring bearer) Colby. Colby looked like he had just caught the plague. LOL. He's not into girls -- or anything even related to girls -- yet. It was cute.


Oh my goodness!

Then we danced some more, I went out for air, talked to people, took wayyyyy more photos and then it was over! Our last dance was to Trisha Yearwood's "To Make You Feel My Love." I love that song, but knew Ryan would think the Garth Brooks version was too country. So I tried to tone down the twang by picking the Trisha version. I think it worked out well.


Here's me taking a break. Whew!

It all went by so fast. Everyone tells you that beforehand, but you don't realize how true it is until it's all over. Our bridal party managed to sneak out to our car at some point and decorated it with "Just Married," our names and requests to honk because we were newlyweds -- which people did all the way home!

It was a beautiful day that we will always remember. We hope to have the professional photos in a couple weeks, so I will post some when they come in. And don't believe all the bad hype about married life. It's great!

Pre-wedding Daily Routine

-Oatmeal and OJ for breakfast (Still working on all that leftover oatmeal from our Appalachian Trail trip. Thanks, Costco.)
-Teeth-whitening strips: 30 mins. (usually while I'm getting ready in the morning)
-Bronzing lotion (after showering)
-Vitamin E oil on gigantic burn scar to reduce appearance (burned my arm with a cookie sheet a few months ago). And yes, it does work. The scar is not as prominent.
-Airborne -- tons of people in the office are sick right now.
-Wash face before bed. If I don't, I break out.
-Daily vitamin (but that's normal for me anyway)

H-ween '07

Well, we managed to pull a last-minute success out of our butts this Halloween. (Nice mental image, huh?)

You might remember that last year I was a banana and Ryan was President Bush taking out the trash (Osama). This year we had no idea what to be in order to live up to last year's costumes.

So we hit up the Spirit store in Fremont on Saturday. Ryan's old buddy is the manager there. We scoured the store, and we thought we found a winner for Ryan when we picked up a costume that can only be described as a man riding an inflatable ostrich. But it required wearing a battery-operated air pump to keep part of the costume inflated, which Ryan thought didn't sound comfortable, and the hat was missing from the package.

A second scouring of the store yielded a sexy U.S. Border Patrol agent's costume for me, and...I don't know what the name of Ryan's was. Basically, a Mexican wearing a belt full of shot glasses. We didn't even realize our costumes kind of went together until we were already walking out the door. But anyway, talk about serendipity...just as we were going to pay, Ryan's friend shows up. He wasn't supposed to be there, since he was taking time off for Oktoberfest, but had happened to stop by. And he rung us up with a fat discount -- $100 worth of costumes for $43. Rock on, Dave!

We were once again a hit at this year's party. Whew! Here are some photos:



Our hostess, Danielle, as Frida Kahlo, and of course yours truly with El Hombre.



Frida, show me your papers!



Jeanine and I looking completely innocent...

Almost there...

Not including today, 10 days left until I tie the knot!

I have made a lot of progress since my last posting. I had a second dress fitting, and I'm happy to say that after shedding 10 excruciating pounds, I can now breathe better in my suit of arm...uh, I mean, my wedding gown. Final alterations are being made and I should be able to pick the dress up in a few days.

I finally nailed down the schedule of what's happening on wedding morning, and talked to my friend who's doing my makeup and confabbed with my mom on hair. The table cards arrived today and look great (I finally decided to just put them in gold frames). Ryan finished the cake topper on Monday and took it to the baker on Tuesday, and I paid the caterer today. We're meeting with the winery people on Sunday to finish paying for the beverage package and go over where things will be set up. And we met with the DJ last Saturday and finalized our list and order of events.

What's left to be done: Almost done shopping for attendant gifts; favors arrived yesterday so they need to have ribbons tied on; buy two makeup items that my friend requested; look into some sort of envelope box.

I do have to admit I'm a little freaked out about the weather...I've been checking the 10-day forecast for Livermore every day this week, and so far, that Friday and Saturday are partly cloudy and the temperature looks like it's dropping every day. Right now, it shows the day before the wedding as partly cloudy and 68 degrees (the day before it says 70, and the day before that 73, and that's down from 77 in the beginning of the week!). So, I'm hoping things don't go completely funky. I can handle chilly, but not rainy. Please no rain! (Yes, the ceremony is outdoors. The reception isn't.)

Last night some ladies in chorus threw me a little bridal shower at one of their houses in Blackhawk. I have to say it was a fantastic party! Those who attended were the select few I like and would invite to a party. ;) There were maybe 12 or 13 of us there, and two people couldn't make it. Even though I was the youngest, and most everyone out-aged me by an average of about 20 years, we had such a great time! We played the game where you make wedding dresses out of toilet paper and model them (I got to be the judge), and it was hilarious. I'll have to post some pics when I upload them. We sat around and ate, drank champagne and hot cider, had some cake, laughed a LOT, opened a ton of presents, and I even tickled a few of the ivories on the hostess's rockin' Bosendorfer. Mmm...Bosendorfer. Her house was absolutely gorgeous, and HUGE, and I felt like a schlub when I brought all my presents home and felt like I had nowhere to put them. ;) Ah, it will be nice to own a house someday! She had a carousel pony in her house. I can fit My Little Pony in mine. Heh.

So, something non-wedding-related. We are scheduled to appear at the annual j-crew (journalism crew...all my j friends) Halloween party on Saturday, and after Ryan won best costume last year, we have no idea what to wear this year to live up to that. Remember, I was a banana. Anyway, I toyed with the idea of being Olivia Elton John, but couldn't figure out a way to make that instantly recognizable. Then I thought about being a toilet, but all the toilet costumes I found are kind of hokey, and I don't have time to make my own. So...back to the drawing board. Although one could say I technically never left it...

I'm alone at work this week...the other editor's on vacation...so back to the grind!

17 Days

That's right, 17 days until I enter into one of my biggest life commitments!

Of course...what else did you think I'd be blogging on?! And wow, I actually found some time to blog. ;0)

I'm ready. There's almost nothing left on the list. I ordered favors and printed ribbons...ribbons arrived; favors should be arriving shortly. I have what I think is a final head count and a rough seating chart drawn up (word to the wise, seating chart is actually proving to be one of the hardest things in the whole planning process! but, unfortunately, it seems to be frowned upon to let more than 100 people just choose where they want to sit, so seating chart is a must). I have a final dress fitting on Saturday, as well as final DJ appointment. Saw a mock-up of the flowers...they look great. Corresponded with the photographer today and everything looks like it's set. My sister has taken care of the bridesmaid jewelry. And all the groomsmen have been fitted for their tuxes. Mom is having a brunch for out-of-town family the day before the wedding, and I designed and sent out invitations for that too.

The only things that are still outstanding are getting a color swatch to the baker, which I plan on having Ryan do tomorrow on his way home from work, and we also have to get them the cake topper. That's been a little detail that's flown under the radar because we wanted to design and build it ourselves. However, Ryan didn't order the pieces until very recently, and we're still waiting for them to arrive. So I had to call the baker yesterday and cajole them into letting us bring it in 10 days in advance instead of 2 weeks (they explained that they have to approve it beforehand, and if they veto it, they want us to have enough time to come up with a back-up plan. Now that I think about it, though, if they veto it, we just won't have one. Easy.) Oh, and one other outstanding thing...I can't figure out what to have as table sign holders. Y'know...the signs that tell you what number the table is. I designed the signs myself using funny vacation photos of Ryan and I (individually and together). Those traditional metal stands that hold signs are not expensive, but I can really only find them online and the shipping is ridonculous! Probably because they're metal and heavy. So I've been perusing stores trying to figure something out. I'll probably go with (sigh) picture frames or something.

I also have to find time to get to my mom's so she can practice on my hair. She used to be a hairdresser, so I have a built-in stylist! I also have to meet with my friend who's doing my makeup to practice probably on the Friday before the wedding, which is also probably the same day I'll take my sister to have our nails done.

I know it sounds like a lot, but really, those are things I can't do until closer to the wedding. All the pre-planned stuff is pretty much done.

What's been fun is doing a lot of details myself. I don't know if it really saved us any money, but that wasn't really the point anyway. I like adding personal details so that our wedding will be memorable and reflect "us" and our tastes. We don't have a traditional first dance song. The cake topper (if it works out) isn't very traditional either. Neither is my choice of song for my procession down the aisle. Many of the songs we requested from the DJ are songs I had to burn to disc to give him because they're off the beaten path (but don't worry, I'm not talking Bjork/Beck kind of stuff...just lesser-known artists). As I blogged before, the flower girl is not a girl but a woman. :) I won't have a veil. Our recessional song is the Peanuts theme. I designed the invitations myself. The bridal party arrival song is the Imperial Death March from Star Wars. Need I say more?

So, as you can see, we just decided to do what we want, within traditional boundaries but with personal flair. There were times when we wanted to just run amok and all wear Chuck Taylors and walk down the aisle to Guns N Roses (c'mon, that Sweet Child O' Mine guitar solo is SWEET!) and go crazy, but after laughing about it for a minute, realized that we can't cater only to our tastes...our parents have been waiting our whole lives to see us get married, so it should be pleasant for them too. Besides, I don't even think my mom knows what Guns N Roses is. She might think it's a shooting range at a nursery. ;0)

Oh, I just remembered I have to set up a meeting with the winery before the rehearsal dinner. So that's one more thing on the list. I'll call them tomorrow. Oh, and attendant gifts! Haven't finished that either...although we've made progress. That's actually kind of hard too.

Meanwhile...cramming a bunch of holiday songs for some Special Blend and chorus gigs coming up right after my honeymoon. Work is crazy with meetings and projects...I guess you can see why I never have time to blog these days!

Will update soon...hopefully before 17 days is up!

You Know You Missed Him

Mysterious lil ol' "CM" sent an e-mail to my work again this week...it's an "emergency," people! Yeah, I'll say...but not in the same way he's thinking.

To whom it may concern:

Recently, I reported about a strange incident that happened to me last year. A copy of it is below. It is an emergency that I speak to someone about what I saw & was told. I have sent copies to law enforcement. And I will continue to try to get in contact with someone about this. Thank you

Here is a copy of a letter that I sent to Government.

Regarding having seen a human spirit in person in November of last year. Who told me that the people here had 1 year from the time that I reported this to get off this land. And if not he would do it himself. For we were made by a scientist for an experiment, and also to set up the land for living. And I reported it immediately after this happened in November of 06 in person and through email and fax to the FBI in San Francisco, and CIA through email. The man said he placed the people here, ga! ve us the supplies, and mentally put in our brains how to do the job of setting things up here for living, building, and infrastructure meaning everything that you see here on the land. All of the businesses, everything here etc. everything that has been made by man he gave us the supplies, and the how to do it. And we were supposed to do the rest. Meaning build everything that you see here on the land and to live here. Now according to him, because conception was set from the start to happen naturally between a man and woman, there are too many people here and they are steady coming. That is the only reason we were put here is for an experiment and the work of setting up things here for living. And all of the resources and all supplies for living are too much. We are using up too many resources. And he has too keep adding to the resources. And our being here is not for the reason that we thought we were here, which is for religion. There is no religion according ! to the man, it is a made up story. So that we would feel safe her e on the earth, and to have structure and rules in the way that we live, not seeing or knowing anything about who placed us here. But the story is false according to the man. Also, he has people up there with him. They also get all of there supplies for living through this place. The guy drops the supplies that we turn into stuff for everyday living and they get there stuff for living through this place also. It was all about living here and the stuff that is dropped here that we turn into supplies for living that is all life here is about according to the man. Only about turning the supplies that are dropped into everyday items for living for the people who live above us and for us while we are here. That was the purpose for life here. According to the man, he does not even know who made him, he just appeared and had power, but he does not know how he came about or why he is even here. I first notified the FBI in San Francisco in person in November of last year about this. I will continue to try to notify the authorities to this thing. It is very important that I am contacted to find out exactly what happened. Thank you.

Cm
Calif

Odds 'n' Ends

Again I have been remiss in blogging. Work seems to experience these waves of busy-ness and then periods of calm, and the past few weeks have been a wave of busy-ness. I was alone for a week while the other editor was on vacation, then I've been having to deal with legal threats from an elementary school mad about a blog item (but I consulted the company lawyer and the blog item is fine, sheesh), and the company is still blindly feeling its way around the new consolidation, which means all of us have to come along for the (bumpy) ride. Good times.

But anyway, updates! As of this writing I have finally dropped a total of 10 pounds. The same 10 pounds I've been battling for so long, I had almost resigned myself to keeping them around just for company. It's been a struggle, no doubt, but this droppage has been achieved simply by eating better. I am probably eating with the same frequency as before, but the quality has improved. Instead of junk, I'll snack on edamame or yogurt or a cereal bar...or an occasional (small) piece of chocolate. Portion control, too, has been important. It can be a killer when you go out to eat. I try to pick a salad or something I can eat half of and take the rest home. Gone are the days of yummy fries and Taco Bell and such. Although I do crave those things sometimes. ;) I'll steal a fry off Ryan's plate every now and then. And I did indulge in many a chip at Chevys the other night. But, on the whole, I've been eating healthier, and keeping in mind that I need to breathe in my wedding dress. That has been a good motivator.

Everything wedding-related is still right on track. I'm down to a few things that I can't tackle until I know exactly how many people are coming...such as ordering favors and drawing up a seating chart (we're doing assigned tables, not assigned seats). I've been polishing off the DJ list, which is actually harder than I thought it would be because you have to put a lot of care into selecting which songs you want played when. We still have to go get our marriage license, but the court we have to go to is in Oakland, and they're only open on weekdays, and they need BOTH of us there at the same time to issue the license. So we have to plan that into one of our upcoming workdays. (Plus it's a whopping $85!) We also have to finish shopping for attendant gifts and I have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my hair. Mom will be doing my hair, but we should have some idea in advance of how we should do it.

I have to say that I'm not in the least nervous about getting married. Lots of people talk about "cold feet" or wondering if they're doing the right thing or feeling daunted by such a huge lifetime commitment, but I am excited, confident and happy about this next step of my life. It sounds impossible, but everything is perfect. We have a nice home that we worked hard to buy and improve ourselves, both have steady and pretty well-paying jobs, we both enjoy the same things and each other, the cats are crackheads but they are happy and well-taken care of, and we aren't really struggling with anything. We don't fight (we have argued in the past, but nothing serious and it's infrequent), we both have pretty easygoing natures and we tackle life's problems together to come up with a solution. And we laugh A LOT. Things in the Hicks house are pretty good, which I am very thankful for. Marriage just seems like the next natural step, not some huge, frightening hurdle. And it's going to be fun to be able to say "this is my husband" to people. :)

Well, this is odds 'n' ends, so I'll move on to another topic, especially since this has been pretty mellow so far. So Ryan and I just recently bought an Xbox 360 (thank goodness for 6 months no interest on the Best Buy card!). I am addicted to Guitar Hero II, and I think I may soon develop carpal tunnel in both wrists. I finally beat "medium" career difficulty mode and have been dabbling in "hard" on the practice mode. They're not lying, it's hard! I don't know how people can read the "notes" that fast...or even play them that fast. There are five colored buttons on the guitar, and all of them are used in "hard" mode. Except you only have four fingers to push the buttons with, so grabbing the last button with your pinky always screws everything up. How am I supposed to get from a yellow-orange chord all the way over to a crazy green-blue thing in two milliseconds? You also have to strum with the other hand, which poses its own problems. Anyway, yes, I actually played Freebird yesterday. Let's just say it was a biotch even in medium.

Meanwhile, Ryan has been slaying Germans in Call of Duty 3. I haven't played it yet...mostly I like to watch him play. But I have kicked his butt at the tennis game and Madden '07. Yes, Madden! Who knew I could open a can of whoop-ass in video foosball?! My secret: use the "ask the coach" feature for picking plays. ;)

Um, what else. Chorus has started up again and we're working on a bunch of holiday music. We'll be doing a big performance at the giant Mormon temple in Oakland in December. They invited us to sing there, which is awesome if you've seen the temple over there. I'm not Mormon, but the architecture is pretty neat. We're also working hard in Special Blend to get a holiday set together for live parties and events this winter. If you know of someone who needs live entertainment at their party, have them check us out! www.specialblendgroup.com or www.myspace.com/specialblendgroup

Wow, this is long. OK, enough for now. Live long and prosper!

Interesting Stuff

From yet another e-mail I received...

Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?
A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called "pygg". When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as "pygg banks." When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a bank that resembled a pig. And it caught on.

Q: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half-dollars have notches, while pennies and nickels do not?
A: The U.S. Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half-dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.

Q: Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?
A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. And that's where women's buttons have remained since.

Q: Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?
A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.

Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called "passing the buck"?
A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility, he would "pass the buck" to the next player.

Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?
A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for the guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would then just touch or clink the host's glass with his own.

Q: Why are people in the public eye said to be "in the limelight"?
A: Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and stage lighting by burning a cylinder of lime, which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, performers on stage "in the limelight" were seen by the audience to be the center of attention.

Q: Why do ships and aircraft in trouble use "mayday" as their call for help?
A: This comes from the French word "m'aidez" -- meaning "help me" -- and is pronounced "mayday."

Q: Why is someone who is feeling great "on cloud nine"?
A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called "love"?
A: In France, where tennis first became popular, a big, round zero on scoreboard looked like an egg and was called "l'oeuf," which is French for "egg." When tennis was introduced in the U.S., Americans pronounced it "love."

Q: In golf, where did the term "caddy" come from?
A. When Mary, later Queen of Scots, went to France as a young girl (for education & survival), Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scot game "golf." So he had the first golf course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced "ca-day" and the Scots changed it into "caddy."

So now you know!