Evanescence Concert Review

It's safe to say that the Foo Fighters now serve as a benchmark of excellence every time I see a big-name band in concert. I can't help it -- after seeing FF live twice in one year, and being blown away both times by the music and Dave Grohl's ease in chatting up the audience, the Foos are on a pedestal that rarely gets touched.

Oh, but Evanescence comes close. Performing at the Warfield on Sunday, the goth-pop/goth-lite band drew a sell-out crowd that was almost too much for the small-ish San Francisco venue. It was as if the atmosphere was hopped up on Red Bull and Pixie Stix. Regardless, we patiently sat through forgettable opening band Revelation Theory, who closed out their tour with Evanescence in SF, and eagerly awaited the first utterings of Amy Lee's unmatched, crystalline voice.

In all her tartan-skirted glory, Lee belted out favorites from the band's debut album "Fallen," including "My Immortal," "Whisper" and "Going Under," and hits from their most recent album "The Open Door," most notably featuring "Lithium" and "Call Me When You're Sober."

At one point, Lee sat alone at her piano, flowing through "Good Enough."

"Good enough, Am I good enough?" she sang.

"Yes, you are!" someone shouted. Amen, brotha, amen.

The thing about Amy Lee is that she makes it look so easy. She never seems to be straining to reach a note, or contorting herself in odd positions to get a phrase out. She simply stands there, sometimes slightly bending forward, and out comes that voice. Meanwhile, the stage is erupting around her in metal-like guitar riffs and seizure-inducing lights, drummer Rocky Gray making good use of his extensive set of skins and cymbals.

You just can't help singing along at an Evanescence concert. You can't help but get wrapped up in the music's energy and familiar hooks. You can't help but admire Lee's songwriting, piano and voice talents. It's nice to see a real rocker chick have such success. The concert is worth every penny because Evanescence sounds exactly like its CDs. Which is more than can be said about lots of popular rock bands out there.

Plus, one should note that the diversity of the audience is also pretty entertaining. From 40-year-old parents down to gothed-out tweens in capes, the Warfield was a mini-Halloween party in itself. Not to mention the number of people who think they can dance (but can't) is proportionately higher than one would expect. Huzzah, amusement all around.

If there are any suggestions for improvement -- after all, we're chasing the FF pedestal here -- it's that Lee should spend a little more time talking to the fans. It personalizes the concert, and lends a little more insight to the talented woman onstage. She also should introduce the band members, since she usually draws most of the attention.

Overall, Evanescence is headed down a long path to success, with enough draw already relatively early in its career to sell out venues and earn popular-radio airplay. And with the announcement that they'll be on tour again next year, one need not wait long to let Evanescence pierce your musical soul.

Movie Monday...

What is it that is so funny about people hurting themselves?!

Barfy Week

This week has been jam-packed and just....barfy. Yesterday my boss called in sick, so I manned the ship alone while news broke right and left, and we only have 4 reporters this week. Not to mention I had a headache that lasted all day, all through chorus, and all the way up until I went to bed. I had to wait in a long-ass line at the post office to pick up a package yesterday, and I hate going there.

Today I came in and there were only two people in the newsroom: my boss, and the clerk. There was a press release on the fax about a press conference at 11 a.m. (20 minutes from when I picked up the fax) at the sheriff's office, and being that there wasn't anyone around to cover, I got to play reporter today.

So I went to the sheriff's office and listened to the KTVU and KGO reporter kibbitz about how their stations have to share a helicopter on some occasions, and WHY was that, and how can such an agreement be made, etc. Then we had the presser, which was on a cold-hit rape case, and I came back to the office and wrote up the quick-and-dirty for the Web site. After that I spent another hour fleshing out the real story, then assigned the night cops person to attend the court arraignment. That took me up to 1:30, when I finally got to have lunch!

Oh yeah, did I mention I have cramps today? Yup. Perfect. They actually woke me up at 6 a.m.

Well, that's it. Just thought I'd stop by and bitch today. Tada!

Movie Monday 4

I know this is a little long, but watch it to the end...some of the funnier parts happen later in the video.

From one of my favorite shows...

A Message From Helmut

I just love combing through my spam account at work. Newspapers get, like, 12 times more spam than the average bear. So we each have a spam account at work that weeds it all out for us. Unfortunately, sometimes it weeds out something important, so we have to check it periodically.

Found this gem today:

Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2006 12:10:01 +0300
From: "Helmut"
To: "Daniel"
Subject: We are seeking for employers

Hello,

We are seeking for full-time and part-time employers.
Currently there is one position opened - Finance Manager.

Requirements:
- 21 years old
- Must have at least one bank account
- Must have mobile phone for full contact

No special skills required.
To appply please check our website and fill in application form and
we'll contact you providing you all details to start your job
immediately.
As for us we promise highly paid position and company-friendly
atmosphere.

Website - www.clarksa.net

---------

Whew! Let's break this one down.

Task 1: Check out Web site. Yes, it's professional-looking. It employs conversational (and correct) English. The impression it gives is definitely not "cardboard box in India."

However, let's read our little spam a little more closely, shall we?

"We are seeking for full-time and part-time employers.
Currently there is one position opened - Finance Manager."

I believe you mean employEES, dear Helmut. If you want someone to work for you, that's probably the most important thing right there. There's a big difference between employERS and employEES, and if you say the wrong one, you've just weeded out half of your target audience. Not only that, but now you have the WRONG target audience. Also, "seeking for" is redudant. If you're seeking something, you're automatically looking FOR it. But we'll just pretend you majored in con artistry, not English, hm?

"Requirements:
- 21 years old
- Must have at least one bank account
- Must have mobile phone for full contact"

Wow, at least 21, huh? Finance manager at Clark S.A. Hmm. Must have at least one bank account? Why? Do you need it for the ol' Nigerian "wire money" trick? Something sounds fishy here...not that it didn't to begin with, mind you. Why dost thou toy with me so, Helmut?! Er, I should say, why dost thou toy with "Daniel" so, Helmut?!

"No special skills required.
To appply please check our website and fill in application form and
we'll contact you providing you all details to start your job
immediately."

Yeah, NSS (no shit, Sherlock) that special skills aren't necessary...you're advertising the job over mass e-mail and the minimum age limit is 21, with a bank account. As they say in Germany, Helmut, "duh." Also, "apply" has just two p's in it. And if all it takes is filling out an online application to receive details for starting the job, I am VERY interested in seeing who applies. Lastly, please learn about the words a, an and the. Then, insert them in the appropriate places. (We'll ignore the double entendre there.)

Poor Helmut. Don't you realize spams like yours are completely transparent?

The scary thing is, some people actually fall for them. Gullible, unite!

Movie Monday 3

Ah, nostalgia.



And if you like that, here are a few related items:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGCtijHuTjo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UlWeqVVxso
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyT5WN8yEBA

Tips For Running For Local Office

1. Try to be under 80 years old. If you're over 80, you're going to be cranky and uncooperative, and we don't like this. Especially when -- again, because you're old and cranky -- you start throwing a fit about having your age printed and take it upon yourself to harass poor people who work at the newspaper. Save us all the heartache -- join a quilting club instead.

2. Try to be coherent. Seriously...you're running for public office. If you call me up complaining about how your opponent did such-and-such and then you suddenly veer waaaaay off topic and start talking about Kansas, I'm. Going. To. Hang. Up. On. You.

3. Only one office at a time, please. Everyone knows you're a hack if you sign up for, like, four different races. Yeah right...you're 80, incoherent and you want us to think you can hold four offices? Pssh. Ha.

4. Similar to number 1, don't be under 25. No one will take you seriously. If you're 18 and you're running for mayor because you want to build more skate parks, beeeeep. Next please!

5. Your platform is curbing wasteful spending. Well that's great...until you admit you're not really expecting to win, and you're not raising any money for your campaign. How is throwing away tax dollars and the money spent on employees at the registrar's office putting your name on the ballot, etc., CURBING WASTEFUL SPENDING? It's not. In fact, you're defeating your own point. Idiot.

6. Write down what you want to say BEFORE you call me. This will keep you on topic. Why? Because I generally shoot down all your complaints when they're dumb and unsupported, and then you begin flailing around for...something, anything...that will keep me on the phone talking to you for another 20 minutes. I don't like this game. I will make it known. Repeatedly.

7. C'mon, people, IQs over 100 please. Be serious.

No Salvation For Me

Ah, such an interesting town I work in.

I decided to check out the Salvation Army today. Heck, it's in the same parking lot as my work, and I found a nice skirt and jacket there not too long ago for a combined $12. It's not beneath me to go to a thrift store...I'm just choosy once I get there. Notice that I'm trying to justify myself here...

But, and I don't want to sound like a snob or anything, I always have to talk myself into going in there. Why? Could it be the obese woman in a wheelchair who smelled like pee and was sitting just inside the door? Or the woman who was sitting on one of the couches having a very involved conversation with.... ? An imaginary friend? No one was there. But she had such conviction while talking to this phantom. At one point she even put her hand next to her mouth and whispered something to it/him/her. Ah, I love the smell of schizophrenia in the morning.

Also, there is the most RANDOM crap there. Who the heck wants a blender that looks like it was never washed? Or an alarm clock from 1971 that only has three of its buttons left. Or a George Foreman grill that looks like it was partying with the blender. OR a T-shirt that once said "Spoiled," but now says "Sp led."

They also have a massive collection of books, but they are in no order whatsoever. It's just like...Tada! Books! I love looking at books, but dude, that room gives me a coronary.

Needless to say, I didn't find anything today.

Then, to cap off that whole experience, I went over to Longs to buy some flavored water. (Longs is right next to my work, so it's not like I have a whole lot of options here, people.) Everything was fine until I was in the checkout line. The old lady in front of me walked away kinda funny, and when I looked down at her sandaled feet, I saw something that must exist only in Lord of the Rings: Her big toes were at a 90-degree angle from where they should be. That's right, each big toe pointed to the side and all the other toes rested on top of them. It must make nail-trimming difficult, because her toenails were all loooong and yellow and...::shudder:: I'm gagging again. Worst feet I have ever seen. EVER.

And everyone wonders why I don't leave the office much.

Stuck

I have an underdeveloped topic on the backburner, and now I have blogger's block. Therefore, I'll pose this question today:

What should I be for Halloween? (Make it reasonable, please. Nothing that involves, like, 100 boxes of foil, etc.)

Movie Monday 2

Yes, I know I skipped Movie Monday last week, but that's because...well, I forgot I started Movie Monday.

Anywho, here's this week's selection. One of my favorite things on TV. Guess why?

A Pocket Full of...Horse?

I envision a world where horses and elephants are as small as squirrels.

Why does no one get this??

Several times I have brought up this idea, and I think only one or two people have agreed that it would be superultracute to have a pet horse that can play with your cat. Or a miniphant that would sit in your lap while you watch TV, trumpeting his content while munching peanuts.

What is with you, people?! Here we can genetically engineer a mouse to grow a human ear out of its back, but we can't do Pocket Ponies? (This is my official name for them. I'm pondering trademarking.) I know, I know...you're worried about potentially stepping on your Pocket Pony as it roams your dwelling. Well, get hardwood floors. Then you'll know where your PP is at all times.

Should Pocket Ponies and Miniphants prove successful, imagine what kind of other Pocket animals we could come up with! How about Minatees? (A small, portable manatee. Perhaps for your purse? Begone, teacup chihuahua!) Or Tiny Tigers? (They'll always stay kitten-sized!) Of course, Bitty Bears. And for you ::shudder:: reptile lovers, Pocket Pythons. (Please, no teenage boy jokes here. We've had enough this week with Congressman Mark Foley.)

I really think this could work. Just stop and think of how awesome it would be to have a horsie you can hold in your hand. It would have only very tiny poops, so clean-up's a cinch. Perhaps you could even litter-box train it! OMG, I am going to fall over from the imagined cuteness that is a Pocket Pony digging in a litter box.

Maybe I should stop drinking coffee. And that was decaf! Hmm.

Merry Madness

I was sitting in chorus rehearsal last night when I realized...

Some holiday songs just ain't right.

For example, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." It starts off all nice:

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin
Good tidings for Christmas
And a happy New Year.

All of a sudden, it's a multiple-personality song!

Now bring us some figgy pudding,
Now bring us some figgy pudding,
Now bring us some figgy pudding,
And bring some right here!

Good tidings we bring
To you and your kin;
Good tidings for Christmas
And a Happy New Year!

See the odd mood swing there? What is the deal with the sudden demand for this figgy pudding? Have you even looked up a recipe for figgy pudding? It's nasty! Anything that involves pureed figs, walnuts and baking in the oven is an offense to humankind. And I'm not bringing anything without a "please."

But wait! What's this?

We won't go until we get some
We won't go until we get some
We won't go until we get some
So bring some right here!

What?! Not only do you come into my house rudely asking for figgy pudding, now you won't get the hell out without some?? What kind of holiday cheer is this? I really don't want to be going into the kitchen and slaving over fig paste just so my houseguests will leave. There's just something wrong about that. Very wrong indeed.

Next we have "Winter Wonderland." Why is everyone pretending the snowman is Parson Brown? Who IS Parson Brown? Either he's really cool, or he's a total schmuck. You have to be one or the other in order to have a snowman in your likeness. Especially when at one point in the song, he becomes a circus clown and "all the other kiddies knock him down." Hmm. Methinks Parson Brown may be a big dweeb. Might wanna think about a name like Dylan or Chaz. Something less...Parson-y.

Lastly, "Let It Snow" has disturbingly sexual undertones. "The lights are turned way down low"? "We're still goodbye-ing"? So...this is how we celebrate the birth of Jesus, eh? Interesting. I see where the priorities lay...

Also, being from California, what the heck is so cheerful about snow all the time?! It's cold! And wet! I find no reason to be singing such happiness about solidified rain. Or ::shudder/gag:: figgy pudding.