Tips For Running For Local Office
1. Try to be under 80 years old. If you're over 80, you're going to be cranky and uncooperative, and we don't like this. Especially when -- again, because you're old and cranky -- you start throwing a fit about having your age printed and take it upon yourself to harass poor people who work at the newspaper. Save us all the heartache -- join a quilting club instead.
2. Try to be coherent. Seriously...you're running for public office. If you call me up complaining about how your opponent did such-and-such and then you suddenly veer waaaaay off topic and start talking about Kansas, I'm. Going. To. Hang. Up. On. You.
3. Only one office at a time, please. Everyone knows you're a hack if you sign up for, like, four different races. Yeah right...you're 80, incoherent and you want us to think you can hold four offices? Pssh. Ha.
4. Similar to number 1, don't be under 25. No one will take you seriously. If you're 18 and you're running for mayor because you want to build more skate parks, beeeeep. Next please!
5. Your platform is curbing wasteful spending. Well that's great...until you admit you're not really expecting to win, and you're not raising any money for your campaign. How is throwing away tax dollars and the money spent on employees at the registrar's office putting your name on the ballot, etc., CURBING WASTEFUL SPENDING? It's not. In fact, you're defeating your own point. Idiot.
6. Write down what you want to say BEFORE you call me. This will keep you on topic. Why? Because I generally shoot down all your complaints when they're dumb and unsupported, and then you begin flailing around for...something, anything...that will keep me on the phone talking to you for another 20 minutes. I don't like this game. I will make it known. Repeatedly.
7. C'mon, people, IQs over 100 please. Be serious.
posted by Kim at 6:22 PM
5 Comments:
Narf, who called during the dinner hour? We get them up here, too. The best are the pollsters... not.
btw- check your comments post on costumes
dnllu
Not sure if the link takes you directly to the page: http://pioneer.csuhayward.edu/PioneerWeb/PioneerNews9-28-06/PioneerFrame9-28-06.html
It's the article: Introducing Dr. Bell, Medicine Man
page 8.
jtipud (so close, yet not "stupid.")
Lulu: I got your message and it was hilarious! I passed the link on to a few people at work. The general consesus: D'oh!
Thanks. :0)
dnxmxxhc (geez!)
It reminded me of your days as Editor-in-Chief and the stories you would tell me. Man, I miss those days! It was great being roommates during those fun-lovin' days. I miss college sometimes.
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