More Calls

Originally posted Oct. 21, 2005

I took the day off yesterday, so I came back to work to discover our voicemail system wasn't working properly. The message light was off, but I had 6 messages. Quality.

Guess what 4 of those messages were? That's right, the same old lady calling over and over again.

Message 1: (extremely old lady's voice...all tremulous and heavy) "Yes..." (click)

Message 2: (clears throat and hangs up)

Message 3: "Yes, call me back!" (wanna leave your number, lady??)

Message 4: "Call me back! I have a question about today's Wonderword!"

Yeah, gotta leave a number for a call back, lady. And what do you want to know about the Wonderword? It's there...I'm staring at it right now...so it's not like it got left out of today's paper (although I could only confirm this after actually receiving copies of our own papers about an hour ago. Again, quality.). Do you want to know the answer to the puzzle? As stated above, I just got papers an hour ago...I haven't had time to solve the puzzle yet. Beyond those two things...what more could you possibly want to know about something as innocuous as Wonderword?? Are there even any questions left to ask about it?

I'm contemplating placing an age restriction on my work phone. Do not call unless you are younger than 1,000 years old. If you remember when dirt was invented, do not call. If you used to ride to school in a stagecoach, do not call. If your best friends growing up were a pig and a kid both named Spanky, DO NOT CALL! Seriously, it's getting really old, and I don't mean YOU.