More Random Thoughts

Originally posted Sept. 30, 2005

I was reading today's "Almanac" in the paper and it's Fran Drescher's birthday. She's 48. What do you think her voice will sound like in 20 years, when she's 68? You think it'll still be all whiny and annoying? Like, will she be hard of hearing and have to keep saying, "WHAT?!" in that I'm-gonna-torture-the-crap-out-of-your-ear-drums voice of hers? Way to go, New York. Another fine product you've churned out. Fran Drescher. Maybe we can consolidate all my New York dislikes and have her join the Yankees. Along with a certain ex-editor of mine. (Mini-Fran.)

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I got a friend invite from some dude named Turkysh Tom. It was just a picture of Tom the MySpace guy with a fez on his head and a heavy beard penciled in. He replaced every "i" with a "y" (ex. ynternet -- he really said that), and among his friends were Evil Tom (Tom with red horns drawn in) and Tom Marley (Tom with dreds). My long and rambling description here comes to this point:

Cough. What a loser.

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The 10-second Ice Cream Review:

10. That soft-serve stuff at the Mongolian BBQ place we go to

9. Dreyer's Grand Light Peanut Butter Cup

8. Trader Joe's coconut sorbet

7. Breyer's Vanilla

6. Baskin-Robbins Daquiri Ice

5. Drumstick -- Caramel Surprise

4. Cold Stone Sweet Cream and Reese's

3. Sara Lee Strawberry Cheesecake

2. Haagen Dazs Vanilla

1. Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

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Is anyone else put off by the concept of fish tacos? Yes, I understand they may be good...but fish? In a taco? Hmm.

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Today marks my last day at work before 9 days in beautiful Cabo San Lucas. That's right, biotches, I'll be suckin' down the cervezas while you're kissing customers' asses. I'll be draining coconut drinks sporting tiny umbrellas while you're slaving for the MAN! I'll be stretched out on the sand while you're punchin' the ol' time card. You get my point. Me: Fun. You: Dreary, monotonous, debasing job. Me: Snorkeling. You: "I'm sorry, sir, how can I fix this situation? How about a free such-and-such for your trouble? Please stop yelling."

Me: Ahhhh. You: AGHHH!!!

So, what kind of tequila do you want me to have for you?? Hasta la pasta!