The Emmys

Originally posted Sept. 19, 2005

I managed to catch the last hour of the Emmys last night, and I have a few things to say about it.

Number one, there's so much hype about how big the host job is, etc., and in one hour, I probably saw Ellen DeGeneres twice. Don't get me wrong...I love Ellen. I think her stand-up is hilarious and I love the way she talks -- it makes everything sound funny. But an appearance rate of twice an hour...that doesn't sound like a tough job, does it? And each appearance was probably around 2 minutes long. I would DIE to have that gig.

Secondly, have you noticed that the second these "great" actors and actresses hear their name called and they have to give a speech, they're the most incoherent people alive? It's scary to see how little they're able to wing it on something as simple as an acceptance speech. If they're able to put in such a good performance on screen, how hard is it to pull it together when they get their award so they don't look like a giant blubbing pool of mess? (Blubbing is my new C.S. Lewis word.) I also hate those "I didn't think I would win, but I wrote out all these people to thank" speeches a la Patricia Arquette. Give it up...you at least thought you had a chance or you wouldn't have spent time writing it out.

Third, I can't believe Everybody Loves Raymond won best comedy show. Everybody does not love Raymond...I personally can't stand Raymond. The show is not in the least funny, and I have serious trouble understanding how it won over other shows like Will & Grace, etc. The only thing I can think of is that they gave it pity votes because it's going off the air. The show sucks! How do people not see that??

Fourth, I realized this morning the importance of just being nominated. Everyone thinks winning is such a big deal. But I heard a radio commercial for Arrested Development that advertised it as "nominated for 11 Emmy awards." And I thought to myself..."Y'know...I don't know if Arrested Development actually won anything last night. But nominated for 11 awards...damn, that's a lot! Impressive, actually." And I thought that maybe it doesn't matter if someone doesn't win anything...just the distinction of being nominated has almost the same effect. Obviously it has to be good in order to be nominated (except Everybody Loves Raymond...someone obviously slept with someone there), therefore, not winning isn't such a big deal after all. Even an Oscar-nominated actress who doesn't win can still say the Academy thought she did Oscar-level work or they wouldn't have nominated her in the first place. Based on this theory...awards are a sham! They should do away with them.

Completely unrelated, I thought today as I drove through Oakland: Why do little old ladies always look like they just rummaged through their closet and decided to play dress-up? I saw the most ridiculous shoes on one this morning. They were sea-foam green patent leather pumps with bows on the tops...the kind little kids wear that are always four sizes too big. Poor little old lady. She was wearing black pants and a gray sweater, too. What a random combo.