The Poop on Corn

Originally posted Oct. 18, 2005

I know many of us have often wondered: Why is it that no matter how much I chew, corn goes in corn...and comes out corn??

I'm serious, it's the indestructible food. A friend and I have kicked around the idea that police uniforms should be made out of a material we named Kornex -- that outer coating stuff that's on corn kernels. If even gastric juices and the rigorous process of traveling through our digestive systems can't break down corn, what makes you think a bullet could pierce that sucker??

I just had to know why corn reappears as corn, so yes, I googled it. For lack of a better search phrase, I typed in "corn poop." I found a really disturbing Q&A-type site that did, eventually, succeed in answering my question.

It seems that the outer coating of corn is almost entirely cellulose -- too rough and tough for our bodies to obliterate. But the inside of the kernels is starchy, soft and digestible, and it is this part that is extracted when we chew. Meanwhile, the outer coating expels itself in our...um...waste, and still looks like a whole kernel. But it's not...there's no starchy middle, because we've digested it.

Yeah, yeah, I know...it's gross. But haven't you ever wondered? I mean, there were google entries on this subject! I know I'm not the only one who has mused on the indestructible existence of maize!

Don't believe me? Test it out. But no thanks...I'll keep my hands off that experiment. Yer on yer own there, pardner.