Yo soy back!

Originally posted Oct. 10, 2005

Well, here I am back at work after 9 beautiful days on the tip of the Baja peninsula. We got back around 11:30 last night and actually tooled around until 1 before luxuriating (I hate that word...I don't think it even IS a word!) in the comfort of our own soft and sand-free bed.

So, what did we do while we were gone? Glad you asked! I just happened to bring my travel journal to work today. I'll give ya the rundown.

DAY 1 (Oct. 1)

Left at the ungodly hour of 5:30 a.m. and headed to the Oakland airport. Wheels up at 7:50 a.m., wheels down around 1 p.m. Cabo time (an hour ahead of us). Ran the gauntlet of salespeople and guys trying to get you a taxi. Listened to a long-ass speech from some guy about transportation to our timeshare/resort/hotel, the Coral Baja. Note to self: Everyone is a salesperson in Mexico. And hee hee, he said "bacations."

Finally got in the hotel shuttle and freaked out after we saw an empty sixer of Pacifico bottles on the floor. Driver made the sign of the cross every time we passed a church. Sky was cloudy because Hurricane Otis was brewing off the coast. These things put together = eek.

Got to the hotel, had lunch, immediately sated need for pina colada. Napped and read a book on the beach while it drizzled (damn Otis). Finally got our room, settled in, then Ryan & I went and sat in the hot tub. Mused on whether coconut is a fruit or a nut. Took a nap, had dinner, bought a calling card at the hotel store from a dude named "Omar" who was wearing makeup. Hmm.

DAY 2 (Oct. 2)

Got up and packed because we were switching to a 2-bedroom room. Grabbed a taxi at 8:45 a.m. (part of the deal we made with the "bacations" guy at the airport) and went to a Pueblo Bonita resort in Cabo San Lucas (we were staying in San Jose del Cabo, about 22 miles away). We were supposed to sit through a timeshare presentation in order to get our "gifts," which was a bunch of crap, but most importantly, a free ride back to the airport at the end of the week.

Blah blah blah...we got a free breakfast, we talked to a dude who rivaled George Wendt (Norm from "Cheers") in size and Dubya in ability to answer questions...saw a lot of boxes drawn on a map...and in the end, we aborted ship. Basically told the dude to shove it, decided to pass on the free gifts and had them get us a taxi to town.

In Cabo, we walked around the flea markets, which mostly carry the same things: pot pipes shaped like provocative sex organs and acts, real stuffed frogs playing instruments or made into coin purses, petrified pufferfish, viking helmets (WTF?), etc. Decided to duck into Margaritavilla for lunch while it rained. Had margaritas the size of our heads. Went back to the hotel to nap off our buzzes.

Ryan's brother Chris and his girlfriend Kathy arrived from Arizona, so we ate once again. After dinner, Ryan and I walked on the beach behind the hotel and found a dead pufferfish. (Ryan says he was "sleeping.") Went back to the room and played with the "fucked-up doll." Ryan bought clothes for Paco earlier in the day (www.pacostravels.com) but they were on a doll. After he denuded the doll, we removed its hands and shoes and swapped them. The poor doll (I think we named it Miguel) had hands for feet and shoes for hands. Ryan's sister Ali and Chris were using it to pass notes all night by sticking paper in its hand-feet. I think Miguel ended up in the trash on Day 4. Que sera sera.

DAY 3 (Oct. 3)

Rented our awesome van, a VW Sharan...whatever that is...and went to Cabo. Ryan and Paco took pictures with an iguana. Had more head-sized margaritas at Margaritavilla while listening to mariachi players. Tried octopus...squishy. Went to the Mega, which is like a Target or Wal-Mart combined with a Safeway. Bought breakfast food. Left Kathy in the car to deal with her margaritas. Came back and found "chowder" next to the car, as Chris put it. Luckily, it wasn't Kathy's.

DAY 4 (Oct. 4)

Discovered that channel 6 carries reruns of 90210 and Melrose Place. Paradise! Sat around the pool all day and played on the beach a little (carefully, though, since they don't advise ocean swimming on that beach...strong undertow). Found to our delight that the pool's swim-up bar accepts soggy pesos. Got sunburned. All over. Later, went down for the hotel's fiesta night. Somehow got pulled onto stage to dance to Michael Jackson music. Drank tequila. Won a T-shirt. Participated in a conga line. Collapsed in bed.

DAY 5 (Oct. 5)

Chris, Ali and Ryan's other brother, John, left early to wait for Sammy Hagar tix at Cabo Wabo. They had to abandon that plan, though, in order for John and Ali to get to their horseback-riding appointment on time. All went to Cabo later on and toured The Arch and the Pacific Window by glass-bottomed boat. Went snorkeling by Lover's Beach (on the Sea of Cortez side...the Pacific Ocean side is too rough). Saw tons of fish. Avoided being sucked into a sea urchin by the tide.

For dinner, we decided to look for the famed Trailer Park Restaurant. Accidently drove to a real trailer park. Went back to town and headed the wrong way down a one-way street and got pulled over by a cop in a chair eating a burrito. He made John pay him $50 to avoid a $100 ticket and a trip to the polizia station. Finally found the Trailer Park. Closed on Wednesdays. Ironic. Had dinner at the hotel.

DAY 6 (Oct. 6)

Woke up to the sound of constant construction they've been doing at the hotel. Took Ali to the airport, then went to Cabo. Decided to try parasailing. It was too windy by the time it was Ryan's turn, so we went up together. Came down and felt a little ill from the wind tossing us around. Had food on the marina. Went to Blockbuster and rented movies. Went back to the hotel and realized movies wouldn't play because DVDs have certain "regions" in Mexico, and we rented the wrong regions. Ryan and Chris went back and got new movies. Watched "The Aviator" and ate leftover pizza.

DAY 7 (Oct. 7)

Ryan, Chris and John left at 6:30 a.m. to try for Sammy Hagar tix again. Watched the daily routine of 90210 and Melrose. The guys still weren't back, so Kathy and I started "Ocean's 12" before the menfolk returned and watched it with us. Went to the pool and hung out. For dinner, finally hit up the real Trailer Park...too much food! But good. Ate fried frog legs...tasted like fishsticks. Then headed to Cabo Wabo to see Sammy. The place was packed with drunk 40-somethings! But the show was cool and they were joined by the Pantera drummer and guitarist at the end (Sammy's b-day is coming up soon).

DAY 8 (Oct. 8)

Slept in. Took the van to Santa Maria Bay and did more snorkeling...TONS of fish! Sand sucked, though...like little bits of pink gravel. John pulled a giant handful out of his shorts. Napped on the beach, unhappily watched some kids menace an emaciated dog. Had dinner at Sardina Cantina, next to Trader Dick's and the hotel. Rocked. After dinner, Ryan and I sat on the beach at the hotel and listened to the reggae band while the sun set. Went back to the room and watched "Gangs of New York" and "Enough" on TV. Packed before bed.

DAY 9 (Oct. 9)

Breakfast at Sardina Cantina. Said goodbye to Chris & Kathy, who headed to the airport around 11. Took a cab to the El Presidente InterContinental to do some kayaking in the estuary, but found out the estuary got sandbarred by Otis (damn Otis!). Decided to walk to downtown San Jose to see the church. Sweated balls. Saw a lizard the size of an iguana. Found the church, had Baskin Robbins. Walked back to the Presidente. Napped in an uncomfortable chair while watching the Patriots game. Saw a cucaracha when I went to the bathroom. Left for the airport at 3.

Flight was the second-worst ever. We sat in front of 3 people who did nothing but laugh the entire time about stupid shit like "paper! HAHAHAHA!" and "Telma's Guatamalan...HAHAHAHA!" MP3 player did not drown them out. Seats wouldn't recline because we were in front of an emergency exit row. Flight attendants didn't know head from ass. Landing was dodgy.

Had a layover in Vegas for about 45 minutes. Boarded the plane 10 minutes before it was supposed to take off because the airline is a little disorganized and didn't let people board until then. Had a better flight because we were in the very first row. Admired the Vegas lights from the air, then slept the rest of the 48-minute flight. Landed in Oakland around 10:15. Got home and searched for cat, who was hiding under the bed because she was playing some "I'm mad at you for leaving me" game. We finally got her and smothered her. Ahh...good to be home.