Moment of Reflection

I've been absolutely swamped with stuff lately, but just wanted to jot off a short entry. I was reminded today how sad my job can be...just the general spectrum of people I come into contact with, it makes me realize how chaotic the world is.

I just got done reading two letters to the editor from a diagnosed schizophrenic who is in his 50s. One letter talks about how he is having difficulty receiving credit for a math proof, and he wants everyone to know; the other talks about some kind of signs or fliers that have been torn down in his neighborhood. I don't know why, it made me feel sad. Yesterday I got a call from one of the regulars, who always makes my eyes roll with his tangential conversations and looooong-winded diatribes. But I also acknowledge that he probably doesn't have anything else to do.

People call me up angry all the time. They call and tell me I'm an idiot for one decision or another that I've made (or the company has made) that they don't like...they call me out on news judgment, accuracy, all sorts of stuff...and they don't spare on the names or disparaging remarks. It still irritates me, but I realize that somehow it makes them feel better. I guess it's soothing or therapeutic for them to tell the local newspaper editor she is a piece of crap.

I have come to accept that as part of my job...and as a journalist in general, because it comes with the territory. But instead of making me feel inept, it shows me how sad, ugly and miserable people are out there...and they continue to prove it to themselves every day. That's pretty depressing to think about.

It's just a little sad, sitting here at my desk, thinking about the schizophrenic guy who just wants someone to listen, that there are so many voices in the world that drown each other out. As one of the people it all filters too, it paints a broader picture that lots of people don't see, or take the time to look at: Basically, a good portion of the population is angry all the time. It's too bad people don't calm down more and have fun!

Dammit, Tagged Again!

Once again I fall victim to the omnipotent blog tag. Here are my seven random things:

1. I hate being cold. HATE. IT. I would almost rather drop an anvil on my foot than be miserable and cold. Oddly enough, my first instinct anytime I'm cold is to want to take a bath or shower. Somehow I did not inherit my mom's serpent-like abilities to withstand low temperatures. She never -- EVER -- turns on the heater in her house. The second I walk in her door, I flip it on. And then Mom and I have a silent battle over the thermostat, which usually entails her turning it down to 55 and me surreptitiously bumping it back up to 68 (any higher than that and she'll notice right away). My sister said she was home alone once and she turned the heater on, and it came on at 55! Yikes. Anyway, I love the snow -- but not for very long -- and I love rainy countries like England and Ireland. But I am just not a cold-weather gal. My hands and feet are always blocks of ice. Ryan makes fun of me. :)

2. Despite the above, I can eat ice cream at any time of day. It can be frickin' Hoth outside (kudos if you got my Star Wars reference), and I'll eat ice cream if it's there. I'm not sure what's so appealing about it. I especially love the gelato. If I go to a gelato bar and stare at all the creamy-looking offerings, I *will* cave and get some. And then, usually, I'm cold afterwards and need to put a jacket on. Funny that.

3. One of the things that freaks me out the most is when I leave work for the day and head out to my car in the parking lot. Now, we don't have a very big parking lot, but I always seem to forget where in the h-e-double chopsticks I parked! Even when I park the car just two or three hours before I get off work, I still wander around looking for it. What freaks me out, I think, is how much I've had my head in work up to that point. I'm usually steeped in to-do lists, editing copy and doing general managerial things, and I'm so....involved. Then I go outside and it's like work is the womb that has just given birth to me. I stand there all wild-eyed and out of sorts. A couple times I've walked right past the car. It's scary how much of my brain power work eats up!

4. Yes, I am addicted to Xbox. I'm 96.8 percent done with Star Wars II (The Original Trilogy) and am still picking away at Guitar Hero II before moving on to GHIII, which Ryan got me for Christmas. I'm about halfway done with the Expert level on GHII, and I have to say that I think Hard was a little bit harder. Hard required all sorts of fast fretwork that makes you feel like you're getting carpal tunnel or want to chop your arms off at the elbows. Expert, at least, mixes chords with fretwork. Don't get me wrong, it's still difficult! But I think passing Hard was more of a chore. Then again, I'm only halfway through Expert. We'll see what happens when I hit Freebird. Oi.

5. I am trying to teach my cats tricks. They got TONS of treats for Christmas, from various sources, so I figured I'd put them to use. I want to teach Toulouse to shake hands and Ever to talk. It's too easy to teach Toulouse to talk...he meows every time I take out a treat anyway. But Ever usually only meows when she wants attention. (Example, every night I come home, I go to the bedroom to change clothes, etc. About 10 minutes will go by and then I'll hear a questioning meow from the living room, which is Ever asking me to come say hi to her.) And I can't teach her to shake hands because she HATES having her feet touched. Anyway, the training is slooow right now. Toulouse doesn't want to sit and lift his paw...he just wants to smell the treat in my hand and then gobble it (and Ever's, too, if he can get it). Ever doesn't want to meow, she wants her treat before Toulouse eats it. So, we'll see how it goes. I know it can be done! A friend's cat gives high fives.

6. I turn 30 soon and surprisingly have little feeling about it either way. I think it will be weird to say I'm 30 when someone asks, but otherwise, it doesn't bother me or anything. Maybe because I'm still getting used to introducing myself with a new name, and going through the name-change process. If I wasn't focused on that, then maybe I'd ruminate on 30 more. (BTW, good news on the name-change front...I went to the SSA the other day and waited about an hour and a half. When I got called, it took about 5 minutes. I can apply for a new driver's license starting Wednesday, and I should get my name-change confirmation from SSA in about a week.)

7. I give Britney Spears two months to live. That's right, you heard it here first! She's on a path to self-destruction. I don't care who goes on the Internet and cries about it on video, it's gonna happen. That poor girl just doesn't seem long for this world. It's gonna be Anna Nicole II. (Sidenote: I just made a $20 bet with a co-worker on this. Britney has until March 8, or I have to pay up!)

So here are the rules: Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, we all want to know them. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post.

Dom
Lacey
Kelley
Julie
Jodie
Beth
Danielle