Wheel of Misfortune

Originally posted April 7, 2006

Why is it that whenever I go to the grocery store, I could pick ANY cart from among hundreds and it always ends up being the one with an effed-up wheel? Outwardly, it looks normal, but no...the second you go to make that first turn into an aisle, yup...there it goes...that weird frictiony rub against the floor that you have to fight against just to make the cart move. It limps worse than a one-legged pirate.

I know not ALL the carts are like this...after all, I see people walking around the store with perfectly normal baskets and serene looks on their faces. It's always my cart. Like I'm some sort of bad-cart magnet. Perhaps it's cart karma? I must have pissed off the grocery gods in a past life. What do I need to do...throw a virgin into the Safeway volcano? Where'm I gonna find a virgin these days?!

The best is when the cart is full and you have to throw your entire body weight behind it just to make it turn. Inevitably, you end up hitting someone or knocking something over...you break a sweat...it becomes a workout just getting your supply of spaghetti and soup! "What the heck...this should be easy," you think. But it's not. All because of one effed-up cart. And you can imagine how retarded it must look wrangling a plastic basket on wheels in the middle of the produce section. "There's a girl who's just not right," people must say.

No! It's the cart! C'mon, check out the janky wheel! Just take a look....pfwah....I'm out of breath! Hnhhhh!

Goshdarnit, I just want to shop for groceries like a normal person. It's not like high-technology is required...it's just a bleeping shopping cart! That's it, from now on I'm bringing WD-40 to the store.

Mrs. Duhamel commented: Oh thank god! I thought I was the only one!!!!

Dom commented: yah? don't even get me started on stuff about the grocery store, okay? ever tried doing a cart run with one of them rickety carts in the mix? people honkin' at you like you got brakes on them things?