Uncertain Times, Uncertain Measures

Originally posted April 14, 2006

First of all, I'm going to get this out of the way and just say that I'm crabby.

There, that's out in the open.

My co-worker -- the assistant city editor who works nights -- put in his notice today. That is technically not the source of my crabbiness. I'm happy for him...he's going to get a bunch more money and a pretty sweet reporting gig that isn't really based in an office.

The crabbiness stems from two things: 1. the prospect that I may need to start working nights 4 days a week because there's a possibility the company won't let us fill the position until we know what's going on with the Knight Ridder purchase; 2. a comment my boss made about fearing he (or we) may not have jobs after said purchase, and that the uncertainty means we just have to take things one step at a time.

I am crabby because I work in an industry that is full of short shrifts and contradictions. As journalists, we're supposed to give voice to the little guy, report with truth, accuracy and fairness, and act as a public watch dog. This despite being railroaded every day for being too slanted one way or the other, and for being -- next to the stereotype of lawyers -- the scum of the Earth. Of course, there's no mention of the slave wages we make and the fact that advertising and corporate business dictate how much we get paid. And don't forget the long hours and lack of gratitude. However, we keep working for you, the public. Why? Because we love journalism.

I'm not trying to pitch some "poor me" tent, but what do people think, that it's easy doing this job? Do people think it's a walk in the park to look at autopsy photos while families cry in court, or stare at dead bodies on the sidewalk while trying to ask someone how it makes them feel, or call up a child molester's family and ask them for a comment, or get stonewalled by public officials, or harassed by gadflies and threatened by convicts? That is what pisses me off about people who can sit around and complain until they're blue in the face about how much the media sucks and how we're only out to get people. Total lack of being able to see the big picture....and the minutiae, for that matter.

Guess what...sometimes we can only report with what information we have. Sometimes the person is not that great of a reporter, and through omission, accidentally slants a story. And yes, there are those hacks out there who make shit up because they're too lazy to do the work, which casts a negative light on all the rest of us who toil our asses off to make sure everyone gets a fair say. I'm sure there are people who really are biased, too. But not all of us. It's all fine and good to sit and complain about the media...crap, I do it too...but I think people need more of an understanding about the industry before they do so.

No one sees when we have to go home and try to forget about decaying bodies, embezzlements, ruined families, crime, sex offenses, the world falling apart. No one sees when we get paid $30K a year to work 12-hour days, and then when those long hours and over-emotional subjects tax us, there's a higher margin for error...but of course, we're just stupid liberal media idiots out to get everyone...we're not working hard or anything. We're not being asked to bend over backwards and give up our social lives or anything. We're not living in FEAR of not having a JOB or anything. And we're certainly not struggling to keep up with the cost of living on pittance pay, are we? So naturally, we should be perfect.

Hey, everyone's entitled to their opinion. I'm just saying...if you're going to bash people, be educated about it. Perhaps stop to think that journalism is a difficult thing...a subject that's hard to learn in school because the only real education comes from actually doing it, and it takes a few years to get into a groove. Just try to understand, for one minute, how much is involved in reporting a single story...all while your mind is routinely racing with thoughts about wages, morale, emotional health, stress, pressure, public hate and negativity, balancing home and work life, and deadlines.

We do it because at the core, we are newshounds. But it's not like anyone's making it easy. There's a lot of baggage that comes with being a journalist. You stick with it because that's what the job entails. You force yourself through days of working with the most clashing of personalities...headstrong, stubborn, outspoken and opinionated people who have to have their way...because in the end, you work for the public. You work so that people will be informed.

If you peruse journalism job listings for the Bay Area, there aren't many. It used to be a hope for many of us to end up at Knight Ridder. That isn't a hope anymore...no one wants to end up there because there's too much uncertainty. The Examiner isn't well-respected in the j-community anymore (although it's somewhat on the rebound now that the Fang family has its fingers out of the pie), so it's not high on my list. There aren't any editorial openings at East Bay Express, which seems like a good place to work. So, I may take a shot at the Chron, even though I'm realistic that it may be over my head at this point in my career.

I don't want to leave my current job because it's so close to home, and because I'm learning what I think I need to learn to advance in the industry. I also like the people I work with. But if even my boss is worrying about not having a job, I think I might need to be proactive and explore my options.

So that's it...your dose of crabbiness for the day, and a glance at the bigger picture. Try not to hate until you understand everything involved. A lot of people complain that the media bashes on the government too much. But guess what...that happens to every administration, not just the Republican ones. Sometimes the truth just hurts. We will never be able to please everyone at the same time.

There's so much more I could say...but I won't, because it'll go in circles. So, guess I'll be updating my resume this weekend.