Manners, Manners

Now, I admit I am not always the most couth person. I know I can be downright mouthy and uninhibited. Most of it is in jest. However, I live by the basic philosophy that if you're rude to me first, I'll be rude back. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. But I can't stand...just cannot tolerate!...when people are outright rude for no reason.

To be honest, it makes me wanna smack 'em.

Take tonight, for example, when I was standing in line at Panda Express to purchase some tasty vittles for dinner. I'd had a hankering for orange chicken all day, and with Ryan out of town, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get a premade dinner and just hunker down at home.

But, it was just one of those situations where you get stuck behind all the wrong people in line. Lady #1 (whom I shall call Lady #1, since that's her real name...well, actually, I don't know if that's her real name, but she sure looked more like a Lady #1 than say a Susie or a Betsy) was apparently purchasing dinner for the U.S. Army. And, apparently, she was illiterate. Not only did she order item after item after item, but she had to ask how much each item was before she ordered it. "How much are egg rolls?" she inquired. Yeah, the menu is on the wall RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE, LADY #1. And maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't DEMANDING all the prices in a huffy tone. Dude, she's the one who took it upon herself to order so much food. That's nobody else's fault. Don't get all mad that you're going to have to spend $100 for dinner. Your bad.

Next came Lady #2 and her approximately 7-year-old daughter, Vaganus. (Hee hee, Lulu.) I forgot to mention that Lady #2 interrupted Lady #1's ordering to demand that fresh "chicken with string beans" or whatever the dish is called be whipped up to her liking. When it was time to order, she let Vaganus order her own kids meal. However, Vaganus' idea of ordering went something like this:

"I want orange chicken! I want orange chicken! I want orange chicken! ..............Orange chicken! Orange chicken! Orange chicken!"

Even the employee, who did not speak much English, was like, "Yeah, I know, orange chicken...#$*(&! What else??" Did Lady #2 do anything to calm her child or encourage polite behavior? NO. Instead, mom demanded that the employee heap more food into the kids meal because "is that all you give them?!" (Forget to mention that Vaganus was on the chubby side.)

Lady #2 finally ordered her own food, a rice bowl. But wait, not white rice. "NO! FRIED RICE!" she screamed at the employee, who hadn't been told otherwise and was busy getting white rice for the bowl. Employee patiently nodded and started over. Then Lady #2 made sure to point out that fresh string-bean-chicken had been made for her and was sitting on the kitchen counter. Employee scooped some into the bowl, then laid the lid on top for the cashier to close. This displeased Lady #2, who loudly proclaimed that not only did the incompetent employee not close the bowl correctly, she also didn't scoop enough chicken into the bowl. So the cashier fetched her more and Lady #2 finally shut her yap. I suddenly found myself uncontrollably shaking my head.

I remember now why I hated customers. They have no concept of politeness or manners. They believe the customer is always right, and that it gives them carte blanche to be however rude they want. Of course, they never think about how much they'd like it if someone were to yell "orange chicken" at them all day and complain that their Glutton Bowl wasn't packed full enough.

Stuff it in your craw, John Q. Public. I can't takes it no more. You are fat, rude and intolerable.

When did we become France?