Brainwaves

I'm still taking requests in the Open Mic post! I have one to add that was sent to me by e-mail. Where are all my friends/readers, anyway? I know you're lurking out there...reveal thyselves!

This is just a bunch of random thoughts, really. Let's see where they take us.

OK, I'm eating Lifesavers Gummies, and they are not the yummy product I remember from my days at the movie theatre. Back then, the flavors were cherry, orange, apple, lemon and pineapple. Now they're cherry, watermelon, apple, blackberry and strawberry.

The watermelon tastes like cough syrup. In fact, I don't think anything exists that tastes more artifically watermelon-like-ish. It makes me want to wipe my tongue with my hair.

The blackberry is kind of musty-tasting. That's all I have to say about that.

This flavor I'm eating right now is so non-distinct, I don't even know what it is. Apple?

Oh no wait, I just ate an apple and it's different. OK, what the hell was that I ate before? Strawberry? I hate wondering what I'm eating!

Yuck, another watermelon. The fact that it's neon pink should tell you something about its nutritional value.

Yum, cherry. The only flavor worth a damn in the whole pack. OK, I just essentially bought two cherry gummy Lifesavers for 60 cents.

Speaking of which, I wish I had a higher-paying job so I could buy more clothes. I'm tired of my wardrobe and am starting to hate everything I own. I've developed a recent penchant for watches, and I'd like to add more jewelry to my accessories, not to mention a new belt. Dare I say I want to inject more girl into my closet? Eek, I said it out loud! OK, so I've never been a clotheshorse or really into playing dress-up. But it can be fun, and I like having new stuff... I bought a pink shirt at Old Navy a few months back. PINK, people! I own, like, two pink pieces of clothing. Admittedly not my favorite color, but there's this whole "pink is the new black" thing going on, and well, I've been known to conform every now and then. But within my own standards, dammit!

Mentioning the movie theater reminds me of this guy (for lack of a better word) I used to work with, who looked exactly like Ace Ventura. In fact, we called him that sometimes (it was a nicer substitute for "bastard"). Anyway, one night he managed to spill mustard all over himself while putting the buckets of condiments away. Must've been a weeknight, because he was the only manager on duty. So he went upstairs and washed all his clothes in the manager's bathroom, then hung them on a cyclone fan in the bathroom to dry. Meanwhile, left in nothing but his chonies, he threw on a parka and began counting money in the office. After a while, he took off the parka and went down to the bathroom to get his clothes. But they were still wet, so he had to return to the office. What happened? That's right, he left his keys in the pocket of the parka. In the office. So now he had to get a ladder and climb through the ceiling of the break room to get over the manager's office and drop down (a common practice when managers locked their keys in). But Captain Tighty Whitey managed to get the back of his undies hooked on a pipe, and subsequently got stuck in the ceiling. So there he dangled, wondering if someone was going to come in in the morning and find him in his underwear in the ceiling. Luckily, he managed to free himself (I think by tearing his underoos) and retrieve his keys. True story. Although I have no idea what possessed him to recount this tale, since it borders on TMI and is definitely not what you would call positive press. Then again, I never said he wasn't a choad.

Hmm, the gummy Lifesavers also reminds me...does anyone else ever feel like an idiot paying for something that's $1 with their ATM card? I do this all the time, but I always feel so stupid whipping out the debit for something so cheap. I feel like the cashier is probably thinking how pathetic it is that someone doesn't have $1 in cash on them. But I don't carry cash, for the simple reason that if I did, I'd spend it. So you know what, screw you nosy cashier! Don't judge me just because I have a hankering for candy and I'm an underpaid journalist! Who died and made you Longs god? Yeah, I bet you're rolling in cash, huh? I bet you could buy like 60 candy bars with cash right now, hm? Whatever. See you tomorrow.

OK, I have a HUGE blog idea rolling around in my head, and it will be a reader-interactive opportunity, but first I need more readers, and I need to actually rein in the idea so I can look at it closely. Right now it's sort of a hummingbird buzzing around my periphery...I know it's there, but I can't really tell what it is. It'll either be a huge success or a colossal failure! Anyway, stay tuned. I'll let you know when the "big idea" is unveiled.