Freakin' Spam

I logged into the spam account (or as I like to think of it, "Spam Heaven") I have at work and found this. Isn't this the freakin' funniest spam ever? I swear, I didn't change a thing (except for removing the To: line, because it was addressed to a co-worker and came to me for some reason...which is pretty typical for work spam, actually).

Date: Mon, 24 Jul 06 07:52:15 GMT
From: "JOHN"
Subject: professional food machine manfucturing company in Taiwan

REQUEST SOME ONE SPEAKING CHINESE IN LOCAL AGENT

Dear Sir:
Geo Hon Company is professional food machine manfucturing company in Taiwan
We have 40 years of business experience. We are not only manufacture machinery.
We also provide professional planning design and support.
Our quality of service and technological standards are stabe and renovatve.
Our objective is to be customer service orientd,and to provide the
best possible food and beverage machinery.
We are currently in the prcess of expanding our overseas market.
If you are interested in what we have to offer,
we would be happy to hear from you
Our objective is to be customer service orientd, and to provide the
Best possible food and beverage machinery.
We are currently in the prcess of expanding our overseas market.
If you are interested in what we have to offer, we would be happy to
hear from you.
Sincerely,
John Chen

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OK, somebody needs to hire them a damn proofreader, for starters. Perhaps the missing punctuation could escape attention, but I'm pretty sure that even in Taiwan they have VOWELS. And that it's usually frowned upon in a "professional" setting to omit vowels in a supposed business proposal. I mean, I know it's just freakin' spam, but come ON! How much success do they expect to have with that grammatical nightmare?? So here's to you, John Chen, for being the most ineffective spammer ever. I don't understand all of your e-mail, and that's OK. I'm comfortable with that. However, I don't know how you sleep at night not knowing how to spell innovative (although you seem to think it's "renovative," which is something else altogether). I suggest that you conduct all future business in Taiwanese. And hopefully, whatever food you're manufacturing isn't as effed up as your writing skills.

OMG, I'm never eating anything from Taiwan again. There goes my addiction to dog. Hrmph.