Who Are You Kidding?

Wow, I am dumbfounded. Never would I expect this to come from craigslist! Although, how naive can I be? Obviously there are people who want to take advantage of you all over the place. Anyway, on Monday I posted an ad on craigslist for a wooden table with 4 chairs that I'm trying to sell. (Gotta make property tax, y'know.) The first guy to e-mail me about it asked if it was still available and in good condition. I responded yes. Then, yesterday I got this from him:

Sorry I took time to reply. My grandpa would be going through Chemothrapy in the next few days so I would'nt be able to come see the items because I have to stay with him for a couple of weeks and moreso he lives in Alaska.

I intend pay you with certified checks and I'll be sending a mover to come pick the item. I'd appreciate if you can do me the favour of sending the moving funds to the mover as soon as the check clears.

The mover would only come get the items after you have cashed your payment and sent the shippers funds. I would need your physical address to send the certified check. Thanks for your anticipated understanding.
Mark Legend.

YEAH....RIGHT. My initial reaction was, "Wait, what? That's so complicated. I don't get it." Then I read it again, and one word popped into my head: Nigeria. Yes, this totally sounds like one of those Nigerian scams! Luckily, I've read a lot about them on Web sites where people scam the scammer using some hilariously intricate plot. So I forwarded the e-mail to Ryan, and he agreed: Definitely sounds Nigerian. And then I read it again and noticed he spelled "favor" with a "u," and some other words were missing, making it look and sound like foreign and choppy English.

In talking about it with Ryan last night, I learned the way this type of scam works. Dude sends me the certified checks. But they're fake. Me, thinking they're real, take them to the bank and deposit them. Meanwhile, if I'm dumb, I trust that they'll clear and send off the money for the "movers." With my money now gone, I find out at some point that the checks bounced. Voila...dude makes his money and I get fleeced.

I have entertained the thought of trying to scam this scammer, but I think it's best if I just don't answer him at all. Or maybe I should answer and say, "But I'm a 12-year-old paraplegic with cancer!" Then again, I kind of doubt Nigerian scammers feel guilt. I hope his computer gets a nasty virus. Or maybe his nether-region will fall into a wood chipper.