Finite Incantatem
So I will rip a page from WGD's book (yes, I read WGD too) (and no, no pun intended) with my own...
HARRY POTTER PREDICTIONS
(I'm halfway through the book, so I still don't know "what happened.")
-Harry and Hermione fall in love, alienating Harry from Ron and Ginny forever and making Harry and Ron arch rivals. If there were more books in the series, they would follow the Potter/Weasley feud, in which life would prove to be so hard to bear that Ron turns to the Dark Arts and becomes the next You-Know-Who for a new generation.
-Rita Skeeter turns out to have been under the Imperius Curse. When Harry breaks the curse, Rita rescues The Daily Prophet and turns it into the crown jewel of the wizarding world. Until Ron's brother Percy infiltrates...
-No one dies. Yes, that's what I'm predicting, no one else dies! OK, maybe Fleur. She's annoying. I do not like reading 'er accent all ze time.
-Dumbledore is really bad and Snape is really good. The houses of Gryffindor and Slytherin are devastated, and a fatal incident at a Quidditch match suspends the sport at Hogwarts indefinitely.
-Dumbledore is still alive. Dun-dun-DUN!
-Voldemort is Harry's dad. A la "Luke, I am your father." Umbridge is Harry's mom. (Why did I suddenly think of the love scene between Dr. Evil and Frau Farbissina in Austin Powers?)
-It is all a figment of an autistic child's imagination. Harry Potter turns out to be a blond 6-year-old boy who lives in Brooklyn and has an odd fascination with cardboard boxes. He likes chicken nuggets and crayons. Preferably together.
posted by Kim at 3:56 PM
4 Comments:
You skipped to the end! No fair! I was really suprised when Frodo, the Narnia kids and Puss N' Boots all turned out to be Death Eaters.
Well, maybe not Puss N'Boots. Everyone knows that catnip makes one unable to fight the dark side.
I was also disappointed at the end when they pulled Voldemort's mask off and found out he's really...Old Man Smith from the pier?! And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those pesky kids.
Really. Meddlesome teenagers seem to be the only ones who can confront and defeat evil anymore.
Wait, what about... nope, you're right- it is only the adolescents!
I really liked when Beth March came back from Death's door with the Gingerbread Man.
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